Tag: horror

Zombie Friendship Keychains – Apocalypse Partners

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Zombie Friendship Necklace - Apocalypse Partners
Freddy Mercury said it best. Friends will be friends… Kind of obvious in retrospect, but there you have it. Friends are friends. Right till the end. Sometimes that end is a zombie apocalypse, with you shooting your friend in the head because your BFF is a dirty rotten zombie. That’s the way it goes. Doesn’t mean you aren’t friends. Just means you don’t want them eating your brain. Anyway, this Zombie Friendship Keychains set signifies that you and your BFF are zombie apocalypse partners and that you vow to do whatever it takes when the zombies roam the streets. Even if that thing is splitting up and running when you see the undead.

Even though it means that you will never find each other again, while you live a harsh life of survival, doing whatever you have to to get by, so that 5 years later your shaggy bearded self checks the zombie traps you set (the ones where they step on a trigger and a blade swings down, chopping their heads off) only to find a headless zombie body and the other half of your keychain in its pocket.

*Tears* So sad. Still friends. But so sad.

Danse Macabre Pillow Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Danse Macabre Pillow Set
Haha they spelled dance wrong. Sucker. This Danse Macabre Pillow Set is pretty cool. My only question is, is it pronounced mac-cob or mac-cob-bre? Nevermind, I don’t care. I say mac-cob. Like corn on the mac-cob. Or a mac-cob salad. Or Chupa-mac-cob-ra, the mythical goat sucker! I’m right and that’s all that matters. Anyway, this pillow set is great. Won’t give me nightmares at all to know that this death dance is happening right behind my head. Even though there’s a skeleton band playing loud music.

Anyhow, I gotta go. Time to dance macabre! *Turns on some funky disco and does the funky chicken dance on my way out the door, clucking and flexing my wings.* OW! Hit my elbow on the doorknob! OW! OW! OW! Hit my elbow on the wall. Also tripped over my shoes and now I need an ambulance. It really is the dance of death.
Read more “Danse Macabre Pillow Set”

Free Hugs – Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace
There’s nothing like the cold dead embrace of skeleton arms around your neck. Except when your grave robbing and fall in and the skeleton hugs you like crazy while you’re just screaming and freaking out, but enough about my weekend. This Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace is like a bony hug all day long from a skeleton that loves you. There’s no guarantee that those bony hands won’t touch your boob and cop a feel now and then, but that’s the chance you take. Just smack its hand and it will behave. Maybe.
Read more “Free Hugs – Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace”

Skeleton Mask With Broken Ribs Eyeholes

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeleton Mask With Broken Ribs Eyeholes
What the hell? So you are really wearing someone’s skeleton as a mask? It’s got the pelvis, spine, even some broken ribs for eyeholes. Now that is a badass Skeleton Mask. Please tell me you didn’t go all alien predator and rip some midget’s bones out of his Oompa Loompa body and just wear it to some Eyes Wide Shut kind of Illuminati orgy party? You didn’t right? Nevermind, I don’t want to know. But I hope you won best costume.

Anyway, I’m outta here, so bone-swa or whatever the French say.
Read more “Skeleton Mask With Broken Ribs Eyeholes”

Zombie Attack Cereal Bowl

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Zombie Attack Cereal Bowl
I can vouch for the authenticity of this Zombie Attack Cereal Bowl. Looks authentic. I know cuz last week I was sitting down to enjoy some Lucky Charms when a zombie attacked me and sent Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes and Clovers flying all over the place. I bashed it’s head and killed it with nothing but my spoon. This is what my bowl looked like after. Otherwise, I never would have known that my bowl had a fleshy center.