Use this Coffin Cork Board to display the stuff you want to show off and let your stuff rest in peace. Obituaries. That’s what you want to display in this thing. Duh! That or dead bugs if you are one of those nerdy/creepy dead bug collector types. Which I’m not. I mean, they do tend to collect on the floor, in the corner, on my bed… But that’s only cuz I’m lazy and don’t clean. Like ever. God, I’m disgusting!
Tag: horror
Elvira Christmas Deluxe Maquette Statue
Check out this Elvira Christmas Deluxe Maquette Statue. If that’s what Santa looks like, I’m signing up as an elf and making toys all year long. And staring at boobs. Gonna do lots of staring at boobs. And accidentally brushing up against them when I show her my toys. Va va voom! Know what I’m saying? I’m so on the naughty list. You better spank me Mistress Santa. It’s what I deserve.
Copper Bat Pendant Necklace
Feeling Batty? Me too. Check out this cool Copper Bat Pendant Necklace. It’s friggin’ awesome. Bat-tastic. Bat-mazing. I just want to stare at it all day, but then I would be accused of staring at your breasts. And you’d tell me, “Hey, my bats are up here.” So then I’d look up at the bats in your hair and realize you were Horror host Elvira. Then I’d look down at your breasts for real and get slapped. But I would regret nothing.
Grand Necronomicon Journal
Behold the Grand Necronomicon Journal. Dude likes pretty grim. I guess that’s why its a grimoire. He’s a grimy grimmy grimster. He also needs to brush his teeth. Maybe get some sunglasses. Maybe a facelift. That should help home score with the ladies. I’m gonna use this as a diary.
Dear di(e)ary, please stop looking at me like you are hungry. I am not a piece of meat. You scare me. P.S. Sorry I keep fingering your teeth with my fingers.
Christmas Nightmare Ornament Set
Creep up your tree with this Christmas Nightmare Ornament Set and give your kids a scare when they open their presents on Christmas morning. Mommy, Santa is scaring me. I don’t like Christmas anymore. Whaaaaaaaaa. Make them stop mommy! Make them stop. You get Santa, Snowbeast, Krampus and and The GingerDead Man.