Tag: medical

Fart-Tracking Pill Is Totally Unnecessary

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Fart-Tracking Pill Is Totally Unnecessary
So here’s the deal. A research team has developed this pill, which looks like some robo-turd and measures hydrogen, carbon dioxide and oxygen gases in the gut in real time. So it basically tracks farts. Me? I don’t need this pill cuz I track farts with my nose. Sometimes I even grade the fart on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the smell of a festering corpse left out in the sun in a landfill and stuffed with cabbage. I don’t need anyone else to take this pill either cuz guess what? I smell your farts too. And that one guy two cubicles down is nailing the high 8 barrier today bigtime. I bet he felt the heat on his cheeks when he unleashed that last one.

Therefore your fart pill is useless. Wanna know if you have digestive issues? How nasty is your steaming fecal cloud? That’ll tell ya. The nose knows.

via CNet (Careful of their super loud and super annoying auto play video, which scared a magnitude 10 fartquake from my San Andr-anus fault cuz I had the sound way up.)

Wooden Anatomy Coasters

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Wooden Anatomy Coasters
Keep your surfaces clean by protecting them with some good old human anatomy. Now you could get some black market kidneys and slap your chardonnay on top, or you could use these cool Wooden Anatomy Coasters. The latter is my vote, cuz black market organs ain’t cheap. They also smell horrible. They also get stolen from the people who are using them, so there’s that too.

Silver Anatomical Human Heart Locket

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Silver Anatomical Human Heart Locket
Check out this Silver Anatomical Human Heart Locket. It’s pretty realistically detailed. Except for that fact that human hearts aren’t silver. It has a small compartment that opens which can hold a small message. The heart measures a little over 1.25 inches in height and width and is hung from a silver plated steel chain that is 26 inches long. People are always telling me to have a heart, so I guess I’ll have this one.

The Anatomy Coloring Book -Stay Inside The Spines

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The Anatomy Coloring Book
A new coloring book? Thanks ma! Wait- You want me to color in guts and bones and stuff. I wanted a Pokemon coloring book. Sorry, was having a flashback. That was just one of the things that scarred me for all time and led to a life of writing about weird and bizarre things all day. You have my mom to thank. This Anatomy Coloring Book is about taking your crayolas to some areolas. Stay inside the spines my friend. Draw… a breath on those lungs. It’s a fun book. I wouldn’t fibula.

Anatomy Models Bundle Set

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Anatomy Models Bundle Set
Human organs, we all gots ’em. And we cant sees ’em. That’s the way God intended it cuz they’re gross and stuff. But if you really want to have a look and study them, you can use this Anatomy Models Bundle Set to see how everything works. You get a Heart Model, Brain Model, Body Model and a Skeleton Model. Heck, you can build yourself a whole human if you can figure out how to bring it to life. Except it has no skin, so… No. Don’t do that. I might use the inside of that brain for chocolates though.
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