Tag: mens

Black Skull Ring

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Black Skull Ring
This Black Skull ring is badass. Like Biker dude badass. I bet it gives you super powers too. *Puts ring on. Beard pops up on my face and grows ZZ Top length. Denim jacket forms around my body. I smell the stink of a thousand miles of road with just 20 miles of shower. I AM A BADASS.* Now all I’ll need is a trashy biker babe to ride with. Well, not that trashy. Recycling trashy, not food filled hefty bag with a week old diaper trashy. Be nice if she had a few teeth too, but that may be asking for too much.

Please don’t hunt me down biker gangs. I love your hairy fly-ridden women.

Men’s Skeleton Ties

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Men's Skeleton Ties
Without one of these Men’s Skeleton Ties, you will feel naked as a skeleton. I’m know, cuz once I wore a tie and took it off, and I felt naked. Because I was. I was the manager at a nudist colony. Hence the tie.

Anyway, these are some cool men’s accessories. They come in a variety of colors, all with a skeleton who looks deep in thought. I bet he’s wondering if he needs more calcium.

Hangman Tie: Tighten The Noose

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Hangman Tie Tighten The Noose
Do you have to wear a noose to work everyday? I feel for you man. Me too. It’s a real noose-ance. Nothing to get all knotted up about. Check out the Hangman Tie. Now that’s a noose.

We all know that having to wear ties is nothing but “the man” keeping us down. By “the man” I mean the hangman obviously. Working for the man ain’t nothing but a slow climb up the gallows with only a quick drop to look forward to. Damn, I said something profound. Now I have to go look up “profound”. Also, sorry about the gallows humor. Damn, I said something “profound” again. BRB while I go look it up.

Update: Sorry it took so long. I forgot how to spell it, then got distracted by the TV. Then again by the computer. I still don’t know what it means, but here’s my definition: I’m friggin awesome!

Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks

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Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks
These Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks are gonna look great at that big shindig you are planning on attending soon. Whatever a shindig is. Sounds painful in the legs. You know what else is painful? Wearing a stone Gargoyle on each cuff. That’s what the mob calls it when they attach concrete to your hands and drop you in the river. Cement shoes. Concrete Converse. Sometimes Gargoyle cufflinks.

“You know too much. Vinny, fit this guy for some Gargoyle Cufflinks and give him a little boat ride.”

“No! I swear I never stole your mama’s Marinara recipe! Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. Just curious, why Gargoyle cufflinks? Why not just a bag of cement on each hand? I swear I’ll never cross the Transylvanian mob again. Please! You guys are friggin weirdos!”

Gentlemen Dinosaurs Neckties Will Keep You Looking Dapper

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Gentlemen Dinosaurs Neckties Will Keep You Looking Dapper
If your sense of style went extinct, you can bring it back with these cool Gentlemen Dinosaurs Neckties. I’ve always been more of dinosaur and a gentleman rather than an officer and a gentleman. Sometimes I’m a gentleman and a scholar. Mostly I’m just a fan of cool dinosaur ties. These ties are sick. Juras-sick!
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