Without one of these Men’s Skeleton Ties, you will feel naked as a skeleton. I’m know, cuz once I wore a tie and took it off, and I felt naked. Because I was. I was the manager at a nudist colony. Hence the tie.
Anyway, these are some cool men’s accessories. They come in a variety of colors, all with a skeleton who looks deep in thought. I bet he’s wondering if he needs more calcium.
Do you have to wear a noose to work everyday? I feel for you man. Me too. It’s a real noose-ance. Nothing to get all knotted up about. Check out the Hangman Tie. Now that’s a noose.
We all know that having to wear ties is nothing but “the man” keeping us down. By “the man” I mean the hangman obviously. Working for the man ain’t nothing but a slow climb up the gallows with only a quick drop to look forward to. Damn, I said something profound. Now I have to go look up “profound”. Also, sorry about the gallows humor. Damn, I said something “profound” again. BRB while I go look it up.
Update: Sorry it took so long. I forgot how to spell it, then got distracted by the TV. Then again by the computer. I still don’t know what it means, but here’s my definition: I’m friggin awesome!
If your sense of style went extinct, you can bring it back with these cool Gentlemen Dinosaurs Neckties. I’ve always been more of dinosaur and a gentleman rather than an officer and a gentleman. Sometimes I’m a gentleman and a scholar. Mostly I’m just a fan of cool dinosaur ties. These ties are sick. Juras-sick!
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These Dinosaur Ties are for the sharp dressed man that leaves the office early to go play with plastic dinosaurs. That’s actually how I lost my first job. Which was fine because it led to my second job as an office therapist sorting out stuff like sexual harassment accusations and the like. I got to play with my toys all day.
“Now show me on the dinosaur where the bad man touched you. There? Okay. Do the roar. We roar to heal. Now our dinosaurs fight.” That job didn’t last long either.
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These Movie Monster Ties are awesome. Wear ’em and be all fashionably creepy. I would buy one but I would need my mummy’s help putting it on. And she’s no help at all between the arthritis and all of those bandages on her fingers.
I love my mummy though. Of corpse I do. Why wouldn’t I? Confession time: My dad is the Wolfman (Daddy also might be Dracula. We don’t know for sure.) and me and my brother are twins. In the delivery room they called us a creature double feature. Here’s a poem I wrote about my life story.
After we were born mummy became a rummy who smoked too much and called us dummies.