Tag: monster

Batman and Superman Drawn As Living Nightmares

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Batman and Superman Drawn As Living Nightmares
Saggy Town sells these freakish and demented artworks that show characters like Batman and Superman all messed up and grotesque. *Singing in a robot voice* Won’t you take me too…Saggy Town? Won’t you take me to Saggy Town? do do do do do – do do do do do! Hell, if you wanna go to saggy town you better try over the river and through the woods, to my grandmother’s house you go. That’s Saggy Town. Trust me, it’s like two lemons hanging at her belt. Her home is also Funky Town due to the old people smell.

Anyway, click through for Batman and Supes inhabiting the same body and being generally fugly.
Read more “Batman and Superman Drawn As Living Nightmares”

Creature From The Black Lagoon Lager

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creature From The Black Lagoon Lager
I don’t always drink Creature From The Black Lagoon Lager, but when I do, I put a bottle in each gill. Then I lean back with my arms out and let that sweet joy-juice paint my insides. Sadly there’s no actual alcohol in this bottle, but it will look good on your shelf. It’s awesome cuz the creature looks drunk. Like totally sauced. “Hiccup. Yeaz, so I’m the preacher of da black login. Just div us another drink. Hiccup. Just one more. For da rose, I mean road. I mean pond. Lagoon. Whatever. C,mon, I get dry on land.”

Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Groady
Hey toady. You grody. To the max! This Toad Horror Art Doll is what happens when you think you’re a princess kissing a frog, but really you’re kissing a nasty toad. Hate when that happens. Look at that face honey child! I done toad you it was fugly. That tadpole turned a tad ugly. At least she’s all dressed up to meet a nice young man. Even though she never will. You can’t win if you don’t play.

Speaking of which, these scratch off tickets really suck. I’m almost at the end of this brick of 500 and I’m still broker than an ugly toad girl. I’m playing! I should win! WTF universe! WTF!? I don’t want to be writing this blog forever and looking at Princess Toadstool over here! She looks like toad stool alright!
Read more “Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody”

Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein's Monster Magnets
Those are some ugly monsters. Which is exactly how I like my monsters. Ferocious and fugly. These Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets will roar at you every time you open the fridge. I’m just assuming that’s where you’re gonna put them. Although I shouldn’t assume because that makes an ASS out of U and ME. I’m used to it, but I’m sorry I made an ass of you. Let’s kiss and make up. Smootches. Sorry I used tongue.
Read more “Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets”

Belial From Basket Case Replica

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Belial From Basket Case Replica
It’s been like decades since I’ve seen the Basket Case movie, so I don’t remember what it’s all about, bit I will always remember this freak in a basket. This is a replica of that dude. Obviously, he really is a basket case. Get back in that basket, you’re scaring all of the normal people. Is that my Easter basket? You get out of there right now! Where’s all my candy? You didn’t even save me a peep?