The Werewolf Lycan Monster Bodysuit is ripped! Do you even wolf bro? This hairy dude has been getting his gains. Which isn’t easy since he only comes out on a full moon and that’s when Planet Fitness is always the most crowded. Dude is buff and tough. What are you gonna do when Wolf-a-mania runs wild on you brotha? Oh yeah!
Tag: monster
Crazy Larva Mutant
Damn son! You ugly! Real nice. Real mature giving me the finger x6. You are the craziest Larva Mutant I’ve ever seen. What’s up with the area between your stubby arms? It looks like your abdomen is smiling. Twice! And are those three sets of bellybutton pairs? Looks like you have an ugly alien head too. That’s what I thought. Oh well. Nice getting to know you. Now it is time to kill you with fire! No stop squirming. It’s disgusting. It’s all icky and nasty.
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Custom Alien Head Magnets
Alien heads! These Custom Alien Head Magnets finally allow me to collect alien heads in a way that DOES NOT involve chopping their filthy heads off whenever they try to abduct me and take me aboard their spaceships for tests.
Later that night at 3 A.M.
*Stands over a decapitated alien body, breathing heavy, with a machete in my hand.* “I told you, I don’t need a checkup! Now contemplate your dead-side manner you gray bastard!”
Awesome Cthulhu Journal
This Cthulhu Journal looks pretty friggin’ cool man. Use it as a diary, or a journal, or a place to write your awesome yet unappreciated Cthulhu fan fiction titled “Titillated By Tentacles” aka Miskatonic Mistress. Or “A tentacle fondled my mountains of madness.” Or just you know, use it for grocery lists or something. But I really want to read your fan fiction. Sounds exciting and neurotic. I mean erotic. I mean. I don’t know what I mean.
Gross Monster Spoon Rests
Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.
