Tag: novel

Classic Horror Stories Secret Mini Bar

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Classic Horror Stories Secret Mini Bar
Why do you always get drunk in the library? Shhhhhhhh. I read liqour-ra-ture. Like this Classic Horror Stories Secret Mini Bar. Don’t tells anybody. Let me go up to the bartender and shows you how is done. *Stumbles up to the librarian. Goes to sit down and falls due to lack of barstool. Rights myself. Touches my nose knowingly.*

I’ll take five fingers of Lovecraft on the rock-is. Get one of the shelf for you-self too pretty lady. What do ya mean, I’m cut off. I appear to be in one piece madam. Now my book if you will. I will say when I had enuf. *She hands me a copy of Tom Sawyer. I open it.* There’s milk in dis one. Why you cut a brother off- *snores and falls.*

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Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses

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Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses
Whiskey. It’s what’s for dinner! That probably explains why my liver is the size of a- Wait. Where’d it go? Got so small it disappeared. One more drink outta bring it back. Check out these Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses. They have the opening lines of the books right there on the glass. Pretty cool. Now I can get literate while I’m getting s**t-faced. AKA s**t-erate! They have Frankenstein and Dracula. Hopefully they will add more so I can catch up on my reading while I’m pounding one back.

Dracula Novel Book Scarf

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Dracula Novel Book Scarf
Man, I really love this book. I’m all wrapped up in it. Get it? I’m all wrapped up in this Dracula Novel Book Scarf. Vlad the impaler? More like Vlad, the ensconcer. It’s a novel. It’s a scarf. For all I know, it’s a novel about a young scarf who thinks it’s a novel, but really it’s a drug-addled guy who is scarfing some food down. That’s some head-trippy inception stuff right there. Mind blown by that theory! Good think that theory bought my mind dinner first. Do I even know what I’m saying? I wouldn’t put money on it.
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Horror Book Themed Candles

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Horror Book Themed Candles
It’s been awhile since I sat down with a good book. You know why? Because books aren’t very good at conversation. Also, because books don’t have the internet with built in naughty websites. Books also don’t feed me. There’s actually a lot of reasons now that I think about it. At least now I can enjoy some good books with my candles thanks to these Horror Book Themed Candles.

These decorative candles from FirstEditionCandleCo have a little book attached and you can even use them as bookmarks. They will make your place look all creepy-like. Gotta say though, these are not that original. I created these back in the great fire of 1996 when I last read a book by candle light. The fireman gave me the candle covered book as a souvenir along with a slap to the back of the head.
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