Your friends and family might not believe your alien abduction story, but don’t worry, we do. No need to show us your wrecked-um. Commemorate the event with this UFO Abduction pendant for your necklace! These pendants are hand-sculpted and have a glow-in-the-dark beam on the front (ultra cool). It comes with a cord, but you can put it on any necklace. And if those butt-buggers come back for you, they will know that you know cuz they’ll see this pendant. It ain’t gonna stop no butt-stuff, but they may think twice. I’m inventing a butt gun that attaches in your underwear so that when somebody pulls your pants down and spreads your mud-cheeks they get blasted. Problem is that in testing I keep shooting the toilet out from under me when I take a s**t.
Tag: odd
Gothic Black Cats Halloween Bag
If you’re not superstitious, you’ll love this Gothic Black Cats Halloween Bag. If you are superstitious buy it on Friday the 13th while under a ladder and see what happens. It features some of your favorite Halloween elements like cats, spooky trees, bats, and pumpkins. The closing mechanism is a magnetic snap fastener for easy access and the bag is made using quality cotton fabric. Inside, you’ll find a black canvas lining and a small pocket for your phone, keys, money, or anything else. Oh, my goth this is awesome.
Skull Scissors
If you’re big on crafts and big on Halloween, prove it by using these Skull scissors! I wasn’t going to feature these, but then they made the final cut. Ha ha. I measured that joke twice and cut once. These skull scissors are spooky, functional, and will help you with all of your creepy craft projects. They’re stainless steel covered in a smooth brass finish. Great for horror haircuts and dark arts and crafts. Pretty cute. It has a nice sinister smile.
Jack-O’-Lantern Fire Pit and Fireplace Logs
These Jack-o’-Lantern Fire Pit and Fireplace Logs bring spooky and cozy together this holiday season. Did you know that you’re obligated to burn pumpkin shaped wood this close to Halloween? New city ordinance. Okay, maybe not. But you should still do it! They make the flames look cool as they dart in and out of the eye holes in the ceramic refractory material. They also won’t make your house smell bad like some traditional logs. These logs can sustain temperatures of up to 3000 degrees. Now you just need a cackling witch at a boiling cauldron and your Halloween is complete.
Coffin Skeleton Candle
This Coffin Skeleton Candle is pretty awesome. Creepily cool. Frightfully foul. Terrifyingly terrific. The skeleton inside is all like, “Rest in peace my bony ass! How am I supposed to rest in peace when the damn coffin burns away exposing my naked skeleton body?” Cuz that’s what happens. As the candle burns the coffin melts away to expose the corpse inside. Kind of a metaphor for life. Now I’m depressed.