Need some goblins for your desk? These Desktop Gothic Goblins should do the trick. They have a big mouth that you can shove stuff in. Like loose change, paper clips, candy and more. Whoa dude, nice tonsils. This is basically how I look sitting at my desk too when I play the, “Let’s see how many things I can fit in my mouth” game. I’m a walking choking hazard.
Tag: scary
Minion Steals Piece Of This Guy’s Lawn
Effin Minions! You can’t trust ’em. These yellow bellied (And they really are) giggle boxes are showing up more and more in police reports around the nation. They will lie, cheat and steal until only they walk this earth. I hate them! And you should too. Here’s another pointless Minion crime. One Australian man with a meticulously groomed lawn saw something ‘despicable’ on his security camera. A six-foot-tall minion can be seen digging up a piece of his yard with a shovel and then scampering away. Minions are the scurge of this Earth. Much worse than the Chupacabra.
https://youtu.be/AmTL2KESVAc
This Krampus Night Light Makes it a Scary Christmas
Krampus never sleeps. And neither does this scary Krampus Night Light. Krampus will be with you throughout the night. But is he protecting you or waiting for you to fall asleep so he can reward you for being naughty this year? I have no idea, but I want to put an everlasting gobstopper in that mouth, because the tongue really freaks me out.
The Ultimate Krampus Mug
I can’t wait to get this Krampus Mug and chug my beer from it, slamming it down and asking for another. This mug is worthy of Krampus himself.
One Christmas Krampus drank himself sober.
He awoke to find Christmas was over.
His sack was empty and filled with no child
He had vague recollections of drinking so wild.
So he sauntered away into a cave
where he rested all day, then went to a rave.
Then he waited all year
And had several more beers
And repeated the whole thing over.
That’s why we don’t see Krampus today. He has a drinking problem.
Mirrored Skeleton Candle Holder
There’s nothing better than seeing your own reflection framed by a pair of skeletons just hanging around as if they’re admiring your beauty. And why wouldn’t they? That is one beautiful man-face if I do say so myself. I just realized that this Mirrored Skeleton Candle Holder would have the candle obscuring my face, but that’s okay, I’m secure enough in my good looks that no one can hold a candle to me. I don’t mean to wax on about it. Let me just light that candle and have one more look. Gotta lean in close and get a good gander. AHHHHH. IT BURNS! IT BURNS! And now you have heard the story of how I came to have a profession where I don’t need to show my face. Cuz now I have a face that’s only good for blogging and radio. Let this be a cautionary tale about unrestrained vanity and a man who peered too close to the sun for one last glimpse of perfection. JK I look effin beautiful. I make my livin’ off this face. I let blind people feel it so they can orgasm. True story.