Tag: shiny

Sexy Space Cadet Costume

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

space cadet cosplay
Meet George Jetson,
His Boy Elroy,
Daughter Judy,
Jane, His wife.

Hold up a damn minute! Judy has grown up! Damn girl, I got a rocket in my pocket and you got a ticket to ride. Can you tilt that satellite dish a little to the left? I’m trying to tune the big game in. You so crazy. You were poking out eyes with those pointy boobs that hypnotize long before Madonna. So how have you been? I see from the image below that Mr. Spacely gave you a job holding up pillars. So where have you been? Oh, I see. Judging by those passport tattoos stamped all over, you get around girl. Catch ya on the flip side.
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Duct Tape Teddy Bear: Build-A-Bear…On A Budget

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

duct tape teddy bearAwww. It’s a duct tape teddy bear. I’m gonna call him the Gimp and use him as a stress reliever. What’s that? This late fee is going to cost me like $40 bucks extra??? BRING OUT THE GIMP! AND GET MY BAT! Another f***ing telemarketer called? THE GIMP! AT ONCE! I really don’t understand these taxes. You mean the more I make, the more I owe? GIMP! TO ME! NOW!

I hope he’s built solid cause I have a lot of issues. My therapist will be pleased that I’m not taking it out on his furniture every time he sighs and calls a bathroom break.

“Why are you so out of breath and why is my couch all torn apart and full of holes?”

“The same reason your bathroom smells like Mary Jane. Stress relief. You needed a break from me and I needed to justify paying $400 a session when I could just-”

“Let’s talk about your mother. I-”

“YOU ARE LOOKING A LOT LIKE THE GIMP DOCTOR! TIME FOR YOUR SESSION!”
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Kitty Has Claws: Rhinestone Claw Nail Rings

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

rhinestone claw nail ringOh baby that feels so good when you drag your nails across my back. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-OOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Why do you always have to draw blood? I buy you expensive bling-bling and this is how you repay me? *slash to the face* What the hell woman?

That’s pretty much how I see things going down if you buy these Rhinestone Claw Nail Rings. Women. Can’t live with ’em, can’t avoid their razor sharp claws. Now women everywhere will be unleashing their fury on men who have wronged them and others who are just in the way:

Hello Lady Wolverine. Do you have reservations? I’ll just see if we- *lightning quick slash* I’ll just fall to my knees and hit the floor, while blood spurts out my neck.

Creepy/Cool: Hot Glue Corset

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

hot glue corsetI’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Which is good for you since then you’ll have an awesome gooey glue corset to wear. Remember being a kid and putting glue all over your hands? Letting it dry and then peeling it off like you were a lizard shedding it’s skin? Maybe that was just me. I was a special kid. I spent hours peeling that junk off while flicking my tongue and hissing. Needless to say, snakeboy never lasted long at any one school.
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