Ahhhh. This skeleton has had a hard day and now he’s relaxing in a nice hot bath in a cauldron. A cauldron filled with hot wax! That’s just the way he likes it. This Skeleton Bathing Halloween Candle is fun and frightening, which is my favorite combination. I bet his name is John Wick. That’s a little candle joke. I could wax on all day about this cool and creepy candle. *Hey creepbay writer, I bet you wax off all day!* Stupid hecklers. They are even worse when they are in your head and you actually type out the heckle. Anyway, this skeleton is pretty well behaved with both hands out of the water. So you know he’s not waxing off. Wait a minute. Look where that flame is. Does this dude have a flaming peen? It almost looks like he’s using magic to ignite his prone bone. He’s singing, “Come on baby light my fire.” I know, I have a strange way of looking at the world. What can you do? It’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m riding that line baby and it won’t be long until I’m off the rails! I’m as crazy as this coffin skeleton candle.
Tag: weird
Krampus Holiday Cards Set
Hey everybody. It’s Krampus! You don’t wanna mess with him. He steals kids during Christmas and beats them and stuffs them in sacks or something. He’s a real SOB if ya know what I mean. So is my grandpa, which is why we call him Grampus. We only see him once during the holidays and someone always ends up beaten with a stick and stuffed in a sack as gramps struggles to drag that kicking sack down to the river. But that’s another story. I’m here to talk about holiday cheer and nothing says happy holidays like getting a card from this Krampus Greeting Cards Set. Aw, Krampus you shouldn’t have. You get 20 assorted cards in a cool deluxe tin. Not a sack. Thank God. This Krampus Holiday Cards Set spreads cheer and fear this holiday season. And if you love yourself some Krampus, check out the Krampus Night Light too.
So get into the spirit of the holidays and celebrate with Krampus. Fun fact: I used to think Krampus was a monster that possessed my girlfriend once a month, but it turns out that those cramps are a whole nother evil. I’d rather face Krampus than that beast.
The Shining Twins Halloween Christmas Ornaments
If you have a Halloween tree, and if you don’t why the hell not?, check out The Shining Twins Halloween Christmas Ornaments. Great for the Halloween and or Christmas tree. I know you remember these creepy kids from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, which is based on Stephen King’s The Shining. Which are both based on the shining of tons and tons of money down into the hands of both men. They deserve it by the way. Even today when I’m riding my big wheel down hotel corridors, I dread running into this pair. Yes, I’m a grown man who rides his big wheel in hotels, so what? What’s wrong with that? I also say REDRUM for no apparent reason sometimes, but really I’m fine. But never mind that. These terror twins are a duo of danger and a couple of cuckoo kids. They are some deadly doppelgangers and now you can decorate with them during the holidays. There they are, blood all over them because God only knows what shenanigans the Shining Twins have been up to. One can only imagine.
The Universal Monsters Halloween ornaments are another great choice if you want to make the holidays a bit more creepy.
Huge Skeleton Bat Halloween Decoration
Tis the season to be creepy. Fa la la la la la la la la. This Huge Skeleton Bat Halloween Decoration is exactly what you need to scare the neighbors and all of the trick-or-treaters this All Hallows Eve. Who needs a wreath on the door when you can have a giant freakin bat holding a dead rat trophy? The wingspan on this bad boy is 36”-39”. This baby is huge. Huge I say. Gargantuan even. And the wings are actually movable. The seller says that when they put a fan on, the wings even flutter in the wind! How cool is that? This is the perfect décor for ye old haunted house on the hill.
Decorating with nightmares. It’s what we are all about around here. And this Huge Skeleton Bat Halloween Decoration is truly the stuff of nightmares. It’s gonna drive the kids batty when they show up at your door for candy this year. “Trick or tweet mistah, can I have some canda?” *Looks up at the giant freakin bat, then screams and runs.” Damn, I hope that kid has a change of pants handy. Now my porch is all wet. Good thing I have my Bat Towel Set.
Bat Wine Aerator – Spread Your Wings and Drink
I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink. But sadly I don’t have a cool wine aerator in the shape of a bat that will pour the wine out of its mouth. But wait. Here it is my friends. The Bat Wine Aerator. Because it is always drink o’clock, especially on Halloween night when all those kids dressed up as ghouls and goblins come around begging for candy. Get a job! I yell and then BAM eggs all over my door. Why you little- Anyway, this little bat buddy will help you get your drink on. He looks pretty happy about it too.
This will look great in your home bar. Or even in your home bars if you are reading this from prison, in which case you can’t drink wine. *Points and says HAHA*. Please don’t come and get me when you are out on parole. Anyway, so now you have a cool bat wine aerator, but how do you open that bottle? I have the answer. The Bat Wine Opener.