Tag: what’s that smell?

Tighty Whitey Bag

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

tighty whiteys bag
Make a fashion statement wherever you go with this stylish and somewhat off-white Tighty Whitey Bag. Don’t leave it unattended though. You may come back to find a man standing inside of it. Bonus: The interior lining is all blue flames like when you light your farts.

I would hate to be the thief that tries to steal this thing. First off, as you are struggling with your victim, you notice that this purse is actually a pair of dirty undies, but what’s worse is when she starts hitting you in the face with it and your nose tells you that it was probably worn at one time. For like 2 months straight. And never washed.
Read more “Tighty Whitey Bag”

I Will Have To Calvin De-Klein: Denim Jeans Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

denim jeans purseYou are going to love this new purse from the new fall “Crotch Collection”. It’s chic, stylish, and may even come with the faint scent of man or lady parts. Because everyone knows that Ebay sellers do not wash things for crap before they craft the item and ship it out. Ebay sellers are the poo throwing, butt scratching monkeys of online shopping, while Etsy sellers are the evolved crafters who go to tea parties and point at Ebay and laugh. That’s just a fact.

Anyway, this purse used to be a vehicle for someone’s crotch. Now it is a purse. These were made from jeans that are over 30 years old. The seller says so. That’s a lot of time for a crotch to be married to some pants. That stink ain’t never coming out.

My wife has one of these and she loves it. Some of her reviews include: “Why does my lipstick smell like ass?” or “I’m sick of my money smelling like sweaty man-sack.” Or, my personal favorite, “Sure am enjoying my vag-scented Tic-Tacs.”