This Vampyres Tarot Card Deck is full of vampires. Apparently it’s made by vampires, for vampires. Which probably means that the death card is replaced by garlic. Use these as a tool to divine the future. If you are a creature of the night, use them to determine where your next meal is coming from and who it may be. I hope it’s not me. I eat garlic every night, just so you know. I also wear like ten crosses on me at all times and carry a stake. Wait, I spelled that wrong. I carry a steak. I’m always hungry.
Author: Artemis Winterford
UFO Appears Behind Newscast in Oregon
So a UFO showed up on the news again. While the 3 blondes and a bald dude do there robot news talk, a flash appears in the sky, then a pair of lights streak across the sky on the big screen behind them on the city’s skyline. That’s the big news in Oregon, but in even stranger news, I can’t stop looking at the slow-mo footage of that saucy blonde anchor fem-bot’s vacant face. Looks like something does not compute and her circuits are overheating. BTW is that Al Roker? Nah, just a discount version. Al Broker. Ha ha ha. Not that you can get much more discount than Al MK Ultra Roker.
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So People Are Eating Tide Pods
Humans are basically trash. Despite the fact that it says that it’s poison right on the label, humans are now eating Tide Pods. It’s also a fad to use them as vodka chasers. These moronic millennials are so “woke” they don’t know they are halfwits. But the rest of us are aware. Speaking of halfwits, I was going to show you a cool video from slazo that talked about the worst of these Tide pods challenges and very fairly put these morons in their place, but the folks who run youtube took his video down, cuz God forbid you talk about current events. Meanwhile this CBS Tide pod video remains up. Cuz you know. Establishment. We live in a stupid world.
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Terrifying Tea Cups
Etsy seller CarrionComfort sells these Terrifying Tea Cups and other tea accessories like sugar bowls. They’ve scared me off of tea for good I think. So basically I can never move to England. You can choose from several styles including Billy from Saw, Twisty the Clown, a broken doll and more.
A Zombie Ate My Cupcake Recipe Book
I hate it when zombies eat my cupcakes! This Cupcake Recipe book will allow me to fight back by giving me tips on defending my cupcakes from these undead hooligans. Wait. That’s not what this book is about. Is it? I guess not. Still, the A Zombie Ate My Cupcake Recipe Book will teach you how to bake all kinds of cool and fun zombie themed treats. But I’m not gonna bother, cuz a zombie would just steal mine. I know. I’ll just make extra! Wow, look at me problem solving like an adult. I’m adulting everyone! Look at me! I’m adulting! Now I’m gonna go color!