This 72 inch Cocoon Corpse Decoration is pretty awesome. I like to hang mine just outside of the front door and then dress up like a giant spider so I can pretend I’m wrapping it up and then feasting on it. Om nom nom. Usually somebody comes at me with a flamethrower and I have to run. This corpse is collapsible for easy storage too. You can’t say that about other corpses. Hang him up anywhere and watch him sway in the breeze. Hang it up and tell the old lady next door that this is happening to everyone over thirty. Good times.
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Woman Sneezes During Selfie Revealing Dark-Side Doppelganger
*Screams like that midget from Twin Peaks and points.* DOPPELGANGER! Sometimes the truth comes out in photos, like when people capture UFOS, Bigfoot, or peen pics that prove how small it is. They can even reveal possession like in this photo, which shows a selfie that captured this woman’s good and evil personas. The bad one is the one on the right that looks like she is shouting at an unseen man during PMS. Just so we’re clear. The possession only came to light because the woman “sneezed”. It’s being played off like the sneeze is the reason for the odd photo, but we know better.
The one on the left is all like, “Awww. I’m so sweet and innocent” while the one on the right just wants you dead and is pissed to be caught on camera. That one is having a heavy flow and just wants any man dead. She’s clearly two-faced. Must be a Gemini.
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Scary and Sinister Skull with Lantern Lamp
Let this Sinister Skull with Lantern Lamp light up your home. This guy just loves illuminating his own skull and he is pretty damn good at it. Probably cuz he’s using his wanking arm to hold that lantern. He makes a great piece of home decor. I mean bone decor. Uh, cuz he’s a skull, not cuz he has a strong self-boning arm. Perfect for parties or fright-fests.
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Unleash This Mighty Kraken Men’s Tie
The mighty Kraken. He’s kraken large boats, kraken boots with the female sea monsters, dude is kraka-laken everything. Honor this mighty beast with this cool Kraken Men’s Tie. Go ahead and wear it. Don’t be an Octo-puss. You will have the coolest tie in your office. Unless some other dude wears one too, then it will be a tie. Get it? A tie? I know, I know. The comedy never ends. Check out this cool tie too.
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Vampire Bat Amulet Necklace
Damn. This Vampire Bat Amulet Necklace looks pissed off. He’s all like, “I am soooo f**king ticked off right now! I don’t even know what to say right now, so I’m just gonna look all shouty.” Classy, but man that bat looks mad as hell. Somebody give that dude a sedative stat! Amulet? More like a damned-ulet! *High fives the indoor house plant next to me.* Okay, calm down bat. I’m wrapping it up. Stop yelling at me. No, I don’t just prattle on forever. You’re a real dick ya know that? Fine, I’m out. You need anger management. No, obviously you do NOT manage it well. Good day sir! I said good day!
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