In the world of creeper vans, this one is pretty much on the low end and would only be appealing to a very budget impaired, stupid serial killer. It doesn’t take a police detective to figure out that someone rolling around town in this set of rusty old creep wheels would be put up way high on the criminal suspects list and would be pulled over every time a cop saw them cross their path. Read more “Dexter Morgan Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Driving This Creepy Serial Killer Van”
Author: Artemis Winterford
Deer Butt Electric Pencil Sharpener: You Want Me To Stick What In What Now?
I’m sorry I missed this amazing Deer Butt Pencil Sharpener from Ebay seller ratracer496. It ended just the other day. Fingers crossed that he relists this one. You just know there is some super anger guy out there who needs an outlet for his frustration. When you get angry, what better cure then to stand quickly, all red faced and fuming, walk over to your Deer butt pencil sharpener and ram it in good! Take that Bambi! And thanks for the super fine point.
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Sloppy Seller: Something Is Afoot
It’s understandable to peruse the craft-laden streets of Etsy, looking for some fine art to decorate your palace walls. But some people like nasty feet. Here is the art for you.
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Fly Grandma Turkey Legs, Fly
This dual turkey legged monstrosity is supposed to be an angel. I would guess it is the angel of genetically engineered meat even though it was listed on ebay as “HANDMADE OOAK WINGED ANGEL. DOLL .WALL OR SHELF —–PRETTY COOL!” Pretty cool indeed if you need a flying hunk of double turkey leg dressed like your grandmother wearing her favorite doily.
You can buy it for $19.95. It’s perfect for priests who need to practice exorcising demons. It also makes a good redneck toy. Just let your buddy toss it up into the air while you shoot it full of buckshot. That’s one hellspawn that won’t be bothering your kin anymore!
This doll enjoys f**ked up thanksgiving dinners and squatting on your favorite trophy, while knitting new booties for her drumsticks. The seller is appropriately named tangles123. Oh what a tangled web she weaved. I tried to read her ad, but it’s all caps. Stop yelling at me! She’s probably on edge from having this little freak of nature zip around her home and perch on her shoulder, demanding yet more souls.