These Skull Couch Feet are like creepy sneakers for your couch. Cuz your couch’s feet get cold people. Give it some scary Nikes. People be like, Damn! Your couch come wit that?” And you’ll be all like, “Sweet ain’t it?” Your couch be all like, “I look good son! Now get me some badass armrests and a tattoo before I swallow one of you fat-asses whole!”
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Tag: feet
Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends
Oh, now I know who’s been running away with my books. I should never have bought those Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends. I think I just saw them running in the other room with all my good books between them. Get back here you jerky turkey! This is why I have chicken wire around the house, to stop exactly this sort of thing.
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Concrete Feet Planter
The joy of victory. The agony of de feet! This Concrete Feet Planter is supposed to be a humorous and fun planter for your garden. Maybe it is. It beats the way I do it. By throwing old sneakers into the backyard and then watching flowers grow in them. And die from the smell in the same day. When I say flowers, I mean fungus. Fungi? Why yes I am. I’m a fun guy. A fun guy with a backyard full of old mushroom filled sneakers.
This made me think of this! I know right? *Shudders*
Skeleton Platform Boots
Get your bones in these Skeleton Platform Boots and tower over everyone else while showing the world your skeletal feet. They say SWEAR on the side so I just cursed my butt off. Nah. I lied. Just like after every workout my butt is still there.
Well, I did kind of swear when I saw these. I was all like, “F**kity f**k that’s a cool pair of boots! I gotta show the creepers.” Then I stubbed my toe and went on a 2 minute swear-rant that ended with me washing my own mouth out with soap. If there’s one thing I can’t abide, it’s a potty mouth. I hate having to do it, but how else will I learn?
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Statue With Uma Thurman Feet
When last we saw Uma Thurman it was as a mannequin wearing a Poison Ivy costume. Now we have this….I apologize in advance for making you look at her nasty, weird, proof of alien life feet. They totally freak me out. Kill Bill? More like kill any pair of shoes. I’m pretty sure they’re still growing.
Anyhow, this Etsy seller has a rare statue with a serious case of Ewwww-Ma Thurman feet. The seller bought the statue feet unseen and then discovered the horror when she received it. Painting didn’t help. It only made the demon feet worse. Now she just needs the feet to beat a hasty retreat from her life. For $11,019.28. The price is totally justified. Kinda like lawsuit money for having to look at those nasty tootsies.
What the hell Uma? Why are your feet like man feet with elongated fingers? *shudders* Do NOT want to play footsie with her. Her toes will put my toes in a toe-lock and break bones.