Relive the horrors of the plague with this Black Death Scented Candle. I’m not really sure what that smells like, but it’s gotta be an improvement to my bathroom after I take a massive, so I’m sold. Wait a minute. It says that the fragrance is Autumn Leaves. That doesn’t sound like black death to me. I’ll just stick with the plague that I know in my bathroom. Clearly I need a plague doctor.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Naughtypus Middle Finger Octopus Desk Accessory
The Naughtypus isn’t waving at you with all eight hands. Nope. He’s flipping you off. Giving you the bird. This Middle Finger Octopus Desk Accessory gives zero f@@ks. He’s basicallt the best desk accessory ever. Use it for your jewelry, your office supplies, whatever. He’ll always be there to flip you off. He’s creepbay approved.
You can try to play rock, paper scissors with him, but it’s just gonna turn into a game of “Hey, f**k you buddy”.
Classic Horror Movie Prints – A Trio Of Terror
This trio of Classic Horror Movie Prints is exactly what you need to celebrate some true horror classics. You have Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Hellraiser. I feel like they should all be blood splattered, but maybe that’s just me. I love the minimalist style of these prints.
Shark Bite Choker Chokes You, Bites Others
This Shark Bite Choker looks pretty badass, but all I can think about is some woman kissing a guy while the shark bites a hole in his neck. Now that’s an authentic choker. It not only chokes, but it also takes a mini shark-sized hole out of you. No thanks. If you wanna kiss me, you best remove jaws there.
Quench The Thirst Of Your Inner Witch – Cauldron Mugs
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, this elixir will remove beard stubble. *Drinks up* POOF! My beard is gone. It worked! I can’t wait to bottle this and make a billion- What the?!? Why do I have a pubic afro that looks like Jimi Hendrix circa 1969. Oh well, some lucky lady is attending Woodstock tonight. This is not I planned it. At all. It might be best to just drink regi=ular drinks from these cool Cauldron Mugs.
Update: My undercover brother keeps growing and can’t be trimmed. Had to switch to cargo pants and now a hoop skirt.