If you are the king of the dancehall like I am, you have no problem showing everybody how it’s done. Just promise to go easy on your stiff friends. Or you can get them this fur jacket so that they can be the center of attention at least this once on the dance floor. Nah. I’ll wear this myself. This Fur Jacket With Light-Up Monster Eyes That Glow is filled with big monster eyes of different colors. The fur acts like eyelashes, which is a bonus. Finally, people can stop focusing on how awful you are at dancing and focus on your many eyes.
Author: David
Big Foot Breeding Area Sign
Place this Big Foot Breeding Area Sign in the woods where Bigfoots f**k and help unsuspecting humans stay on the marked trails. I would too. Bigfoot breeding is nothing to mess with. And nothing you want to see. It’s worse than walking in on your parents while they’re doing it. Is Big Foot real? You tell me after you see them in action bumping hairy uglies. Do they go on dates first? What is beautiful to a Bigfoot? A bigger foot? A stronger jaw? I have no idea, but I can’t unsee them doing the nasty.
Light Up Vampire Skull Prop
Dangerous looking teeth that belong to a predator, check. Red eyes of terror, check. A Skull trying to break out of the frame, check. It’s pretty terrifying already. Just add “lights up from the inside of the skull to scare the hell out of you at night” and you have a winner. This weirdly beautiful Vampire Skull Prop is a great addition to your Halloween prop collection. At night, those eyes are going to make people lose it. I just hope this isn’t your only light source during a blackout.
Skull and Crossbones Coffee Mug
Those “Best Dad in the World” mugs are really touching and meaningful. But sometimes you have to let your inner Goth badass out. Check out this Skull and Crossbones Coffee Mug. Usually, skull and crossbones mean poison, but no worries. You haven’t upset anyone lately, have you? Man, I hope not. Hmmm. Should you even take a drink? Maybe not. Maybe you should hire a taster like the royals do. Or you know, maybe don’t piss so many people off.
Haunted Twins Soap
If you’ve never been one to go mainstream with just about anything, and like all of your stuff scary, this is the soap for you. I’m talking about Haunted Twins Soap. It’s a boy on one side and a girl on the other. The carving is either scary or beautiful depending on your point of view.
This soap will scare you as you lather up and it smells like clean cotton and mermaid tears. It will make your hand washing spooky.