Pop Tarts. They are delicious and highly un-nutritious. And now they are rampaging through our fields and pastures, having mutated into Misshapen Pop tart Sheep. MPTS for short. No frosting. Does that mean they are shaved? Some have tattoos with an American history theme.
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Category: Craft Fail
Creepy Drippy Horror Mask (Two Year Old’s Art Project) Haunts Etsy
It’s pretty obvious that this horror mask was made by the Etsy seller’s kid. Notice the lumpiness. The unevenness. The general tale of tiny hands working in a big person’s medium. It drips. It oozes. Tis the buyer who loses.
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Moose Turd Bird
Moose turd bird,
of him have you heard?
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Indiana Jones And The Satan-Headed Snake-Armed Lord Of The Flies
At first I thought this a was still image pitch for the next Indiana Jones movie that Steven Spielberg had sent George Lucas, during a drunken weekend of money counting and laughing, then crying and laughing again, between drunk dialing all of the Goonies. Nope. This is…just something somebody “threw up” on Etsy.
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Fly Grandma Turkey Legs, Fly
This dual turkey legged monstrosity is supposed to be an angel. I would guess it is the angel of genetically engineered meat even though it was listed on ebay as “HANDMADE OOAK WINGED ANGEL. DOLL .WALL OR SHELF —–PRETTY COOL!” Pretty cool indeed if you need a flying hunk of double turkey leg dressed like your grandmother wearing her favorite doily.
You can buy it for $19.95. It’s perfect for priests who need to practice exorcising demons. It also makes a good redneck toy. Just let your buddy toss it up into the air while you shoot it full of buckshot. That’s one hellspawn that won’t be bothering your kin anymore!
This doll enjoys f**ked up thanksgiving dinners and squatting on your favorite trophy, while knitting new booties for her drumsticks. The seller is appropriately named tangles123. Oh what a tangled web she weaved. I tried to read her ad, but it’s all caps. Stop yelling at me! She’s probably on edge from having this little freak of nature zip around her home and perch on her shoulder, demanding yet more souls.