Condom Porcelain Doll Sculpture: That Rascal Is Wrapped

condom statueI don’t even know what to say about this condom wrapped Durex mummy. Yeah I do. It looks like a Trojan factory worker took someone hostage and just used what they had handy to tie him up. Let’s see what the seller says. The seller’s words are in italics. My responses are bold.

“Trappings I” is a piece that demands inquiry.

Yeah, like why the f did you do it? Also, any other hobbies we should know about? Last inquiry: Do your hands smell like lube?

It arrests the attention of anyone looking at it.

Yeah, my attention is all handcuffed and beat with a baton. Can’t even make out your badge number through my black eye. Still swear I smell lube. Is that thing gonna stink worse or less as it sits on the mantel?

Not only due to the stark contrast of the actual materials used, but once one begins to question why they were used, a real debate can open up. This piece speaks to social issues that are raging even now. The interpretation is of course up to the viewer, but there were real issues I wanted to bring up with this piece.

We already know why you used the materials you used. It’s better they don’t go to waste. At least they were used for something. The only debate is whether you have any left over for future projects. Depends what kind of a deal you got on an economy pack. As far as issues the artist wanted to bring to this piece, oh yeah, you brought ’em! This piece is full of issues.
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Jar Jar Binks Is The Ultimate Warrior, With Sword and Cyber Shield

jar jar binks warriorJar Jar Binks is the bane of the Star Wars prequels, but now he is back and ready for action! He came to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And he is all out of bubble gum!

This Gungan doesn’t need a gun-gun. He has his sword and shield and even a power crystal! Get ready for the ultimate sequel/prequel/squee-quel: JAR WARS! Directed by a 5 year old with a hot-glue gun and a dream.

It’s enough to make Jabba The Hutt puke!
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Duck Pirate Ship: Shiver Me Timbers (And Tailfeathers)

duck pirate shipAhoy Matey. This be the scurge o the seven seas. When this here vessel hits ye with broadsides and makes to board ye, the crew be not intent on playing duck duck goose…What the duck?

This ducked up pirate ship is $2,500.00 worth of whacked out awesomeness from Etsy seller spiderjelly. It is made of fiberglass, doll parts, chains, a barbie doll, wood, aluminum, wire and more. Look at those broadsides and the cool duck woman figurehead.

Click through for more cool images.
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Fine Shart: Hands On Keyboard With Stick Figure

fine shartFor $79. you can own a pair of hands on a keyboard, that also shows a stick figure kid off to the side. Hey, when your kid is home from Kindergarten with the flu, you get that kid crafting. Then you sell it on ebay. It teaches them about capitalism.

“Daddy, look what I made. It’s your hands as you write on Creepbay.” Tear to my eye. That’s great champ. Hug.

Two weeks later…Waving around the cash. “Hey Kid, look what I made. Gonna need you to stay home today. Try to come up with something a little better than Daddy’s hands this time. Study this Picasso guy.”

Daddy’s hands indeed. The kid ain’t too bright. If they were daddy’s hands, they would be all over mommy. He knows that.

Attention Deficit Design: Rotary Phone In A Bedpan, Attached To A Tripod

bedpan phoneScore! This is a $150 rotary phone in a bedpan, attached to a tripod. It is basically a landline/urinal that will make a huge nasty mess if you ever tried to use it. Craft fail? You’re talking on it/peeing in it. Must be the new retro phone from A Pee & Pee.