Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight! Oh yeah. Look at these boneheaded kids just dancing the night away. They cray cray skeleton dolls. It’s all Saturday Night Dead up in here. I think she’s a flapper, but probably flapping her gums more than anything. He don’t care. He’s gettin some sweet bony love tonight. Some bone on bone action. Which is real actual grinding peeps. They get up and if there’s dust, you know they been at it all night.
Category: Creepy Dolls
Disturbies Horror Dolls
What the shizz?!!? Uh… You ugly. These Disturbies Horror Dolls are well named. Everything about ’em is disturbing. Look at that smile? What the hell he just eat that’s dripping all out his nasty mouth? Dude is like a fetus with a 50-year-old’s hair too. How? Why? Oh, I see. The seller says it is “born from flesh, blood, pus, spunk, and everything wrong. For you to love and cherish. Forever.”
Yeah, that clears it all up. That is one creepy doll.
Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls
Imagine their surprise when you give little Johnny and Judy this set of dolls for Christmas. Cuz every kid wants to start playing with their dolls only watch their guts fall out. Meet the Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls. The king and queen of the creepy doll world. They are designed to help kids learn, but the only thing your kids will learn is that these dolls are f**king gross. They come with clothes and all kinds of accessories. And by accessories, I mean organs like the liver, spleen, heart, kidney and other gooey innards.
I mean, if you are raising your kid to be a coroner, I guess they have to start somewhere. Funding for this Kickstarter was unsuccessful. I can’t imagine why.
Baby Sam Trick R Treat Horror Doll
So this is the Baby Sam Trick R Treat Horror Doll. I never watched the movie so I have no idea what’s up with this guy. (Was passed out with a bottle of booze in one hand while spooning a giant Hershey bar. Woke up in a chocolate/urine puddle and invented a new flavor.) Does he steal candy and kill people? I have no idea. If he stole candy, how would he even eat with his stitched up face? Dude basically has to shove it against his face, again and again, to mush it up real good so it goes through the burlap sack material, but I see no evidence of this on his un-smeared face. I really gotta watch this. Is he a midget scarecrow? Oh, that was not PC. I meant to say, is he a midget straw-person? Anyway, I’m out. I’m gonna go do today’s “pass out and wake up wet” challenge. Right after this drink.
Krampus Nightmare Elf For Your Shelf
We have all heard of Elf on a Shelf, and if you are over the age of 10 you probably wanted to do bodily harm to the little, happy weirdo with the creepy smile. After all, he brings sheer torture to adults, at the same time that he spreads holiday cheer to children across the globe. Supposedly. The creators of Krampus on the Counter obviously despised the cheerful elf when they created their demonic version.
Krampus definitely brings the holiday creep, with his head being a weird combination of a troll and the President of the KISS fan club. His body is bizarrely the same exact size of the Elf on a Shelf; a little too exact for our discomfort. *shudders*