Tag: accessory

Gothic Coffin Butter Dish

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Gothic Coffin Butter Dish

They say that too much butter will kill ya. I say that toast just tastes like crisp bread unless you slather it with butter. This Gothic Coffin Butter Dish is a reminder that our time on this plain is limited. And a cool place to store that ooey gooey buttery goodness. It’s really the only choice for anyone who loves Gothic decor and loves them some butter.

I feel like you should shape your butter into a little corpse though and put him to rest in this Gothic Coffin Butter Dish. But I’m a perfectionist. I would call him Butters and mourn him over breakfast daily. This Skull Butter Dish is also a great choice.

Spider Hair Clip

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Spider Hair Clip

Oh shiny! This Spider Hair Clip is all kinds of creepy cool, so nice it will make you drool. Oh what a tangled web it weaves… I hope not, cuz that’s your hair. No tangles please. This is the only time it is acceptable to have a spider in your hair btw. It is creepy yet elegant. Actually pretty sexy if I’m honest. Elevate your game ladies and put a spider in your hair. If you don’t do it, nature will at some point.

If you don’t like the Spider Hair Clip, maybe the Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Flower Hair Clip is more your speed.

Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

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Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

For the refined lady with a touch of darkness. I present to you the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker. You are refined and intelligent, regal. But you long for the vampire’s breath gently caressing your neck, suddenly growing hot as he bares his teeth and goes in for the bite. At first, the pain is unbearable, but quickly becomes ecstatic. Your essence rushes out, pumped by his lustful need- Oh shizz, I was saying that out loud as I typed and now everyone at the library is looking at me. Hey, it’s where I write sometimes. That librarian must have dry lips. She keeps licking them as she watches me. Get some ChapStick freak!

Anyway, if you crave the excitement of vampiric exsanguination, but lack either a nearby vampire or good looks, this Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker is the next best thing. Look at that sophisticated and stylish splatter. Sexy! Now that’s a necklace!

The Shining Pizza Cutter – Here’s Johnny!

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The Shining Pizza Cutter - Here's Johnny!

It would have been a whole different movie if Jack Torrance had this The Shining Pizza Cutter. For one thing he never would have busted the door down with this thing, but if he did manage to get in, he would have sliced up your pizza to perfection. See, he’s not such a bad guy. Here’s Johnny. And here’s your once beautiful pizza pie, all sliced and diced and in a million pieces.

The Shining Pizza Cutter. It even has the famous quote on the handle. On the other side is the movie logo. All work and no pizza makes Jack a dull boy. Hey, when you don’t have pizza, you get hungry. Hungry leads to hangry and hangry leads to you going a little off the rails. It happens. I wouldn’t try to slice this Nightmare on Elm Street Animated Soul Pizza though.

Huge Spider Earring – Thank God For Wax

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Huge Spider Earring - Thank God For Wax

Just when I was getting over my fear of giant spiders crawling into my ear. This Huge Spider Earring has me whimpering at night once more as I fill my ear holes with cotton and put on headphones. There I go sleeping through the alarm again. But it beats some 8-legged alien mofo laying eggs in my ear canal. If I see you wearing this, don’t be surprised if I slap it clear off your face. Ain’t no room in my life for any spider this damn big.

First it crawls in your ear. Then you become the spider and won’t even need these spider goggles.