Check out this Octopus backpack. It has a giant head that you can shove all of your stuff in. It almost looks like a big slab of meat hanging off of your back. Skin colored meat. With two eyes. It commands you as it slowly sinks into your back muscles, day after day, which ache from doing your master’s bidding.
Tag: backpack
Evil Bunny Backpack
This Evil Bunny Backpack is freaking me out. There’s a rabbid rabbit on my back. A horrible hare! And he’s wearing punk clothing. You’ve heard of the Easter Bunny right? Well, this guy is a feaster bunny. He’s gonna feast on your soul. Get it off my back! Get it off! Is it gone? Thank God. You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. Did you see that thing? The least it could do is wipe some of the crud off it’s mouth. Guy looks like he had an all you can eat buffet at Three Mile Island!
Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack
This Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack is all shiny and holographic. It’s the future. I already had a gypsy foretell this: It is the future. The world is a barren waste. Those that survive are butt-hurt due to the experiments of the alien invaders. Humans are enslaved with alien heads on their back. You alone will save the world. She also predicted that I would tip her well and she was right. I had board game money, she had no eyesight. It was like a match made in heaven. This etsy listing means that the time is upon us.
*Sees giant rainbow alien head floating into my room at night.* ARHHHHHHH! What do you want? No, not again! *Lights go on.* Just my stupid roommate wearing this backpack as he backs into the room. NOT COOL!
No Thanks: Spider Backpack
I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a spider on your back. He looks like a spider backpack, but he’s all jacked into your spine and brain, controlling your every action. What do you do? Well, I would hand a good friend a taser and let him zap that stowaway. Hopefully he doesn’t miss and the spider has a seizure before falling to the ground dead. That’s how you deal with that little problem.
Same way I got rid of that tick I had on my side last year, when I grabbed some exposed wire from the wall and slammed it into my side after yelling CLEAR! Blew him to smithereens and burned every hair off my body. I may have looked like a naked mole rat, but I was a naked mole rat without a tick attached. Lifehacks for the win!
Black Octopus Purse
This Black Octopus Purse is the ultimate accessor-sea. It has enough tentacles to hold all of your stuff and never let go. Best of all it won’t spit ink in your face whenever you go to get your lipstick. Put a padlock on it and ya got a lock-topus. Store your frock inside and ya got a frock-topus. The possibilities are endless as the sea. You’ll love that you can high five it’s mighty tentacles.
Octopi are pretty smart creatures. It might even hand you the stuff you need. Pretty cool.