Check these out. What nice Victorian portraits. So quaint and sweet and- What the sh*t! They’re zombies! These Holographic Victorian Zombie Portraits go from mild mannered to undead in an instant. You get 4 portraits of this creepy Victorian Addams Family: lady, gentleman, child and grandparents. They all change into rotted corpses, skulls or evil creatures. The family that slays together stays together I guess.
Read more “Holographic Victorian Zombie Portraits”
Tag: hologram
Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack
This Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack is all shiny and holographic. It’s the future. I already had a gypsy foretell this: It is the future. The world is a barren waste. Those that survive are butt-hurt due to the experiments of the alien invaders. Humans are enslaved with alien heads on their back. You alone will save the world. She also predicted that I would tip her well and she was right. I had board game money, she had no eyesight. It was like a match made in heaven. This etsy listing means that the time is upon us.
*Sees giant rainbow alien head floating into my room at night.* ARHHHHHHH! What do you want? No, not again! *Lights go on.* Just my stupid roommate wearing this backpack as he backs into the room. NOT COOL!
Shimmering Hologram Mermaid Tail Skirt
Well call me Aquaman and slap me with your mermaid tail, you have one fine set of fish fins. No, don’t really slap me. I hate getting slapped with fish. It happens more often than you might think. This Shimmering Hologram Mermaid Tail Skirt is all kinds of sexy. Say, why are mermaids never actually maids? You never see Ariel cleaning up the house, dusting all the knick-knacks and doing laundry, having to hop in the shower or the kiddie pool every 15 minutes to keep her mermaid skin wet.
I’m gonna start a mer-maid service and get a whole stable of mermaids to clean rich people’s houses. What’s the name for a whole group of them? A gaggle? Heh. More like a waggle, judging by the way they sway their hips when they swim. A maraude. That’s it. A maraude of mermaids. A mess. A masquerade. A mirage. See, now I’m just grasping at scales, which usually ends with a mer-tail slapping my face. Which I usually deserve.
3D Cat Playing Cards
The Visitors Are Not Our Friends: Lizard Eye Sunglasses
These lizard eye sunglasses will make you look just like our reptilian overlords. You know, the ones secretly in charge of the shadow government. I assume that means that a bunch of bureaucrats are huddled in some dark room doing paperwork by flashlight. I have no idea. But I do know that the lizard people are sending messages to me telepathically via microwave transmissions.
Now they will think I am one of them. Sweet! I’m in the secret society! I will get one on live streaming and rip his fake human skin off in front of millions. The visitors are not our friends!
Then of course they would eat me. Maybe. I’m counting on the fact that I am pumped so full of GMOs and pesticides, that I will take some with me.