Banana Umbrella

banana umbrella
This banana umbrella is looking ripe and ready to protect you from a hard rain. Just peel it to deploy your umbrella and go bananas. Bananas are an excellent source of potassium. You know what else is an excellent source of potassium? Mushrooms.

Although I wouldn’t pick them from the woods. It’s really hard to get your daily dose of potassium when you are being chased by elves with melty faces and riding praying mantis bikes. I think I got my potassium that day, but only after I saw my friend turn into the demon king of drippy ear wax and get eaten by a Venus Fly trap that was two pizzas slammed together. After that I woke up in the microwave inside of a giant hot pocket. Turns out the hot pocket was my sleeping bag and the microwave was the sun, burning my pale nerd skin.
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Bicycle Banana Holder

banana holderAt last I can safely transport my banana from the store to my house without it getting a single bruise. This banana holder will solve that problem. You know how it is. You’re riding your bike, when you suddenly hit a huge bump, making your banana hurt so bad you wanna scream. Sometimes the ride is so bumpy that your banana just bounces around until it’s all soft and mushy.

This here banana holster will help. It gently embraces your banana, probably radiating a gentle warmth that is so nice and cozy that it only wants to be pulled out when it feels your bike finally reach the climax of that last hill as you gently coast home.

This holder makes for one happy banana. And happy bananas are healthy bananas.
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Along Came A Banana Spider

arachnophobiaMakes us feel all twitchy and nervous, looking at these banana spider specimens. They’re not as cute and sweet as the yellow tropical fruit they’re named after…not sure why they would call them that even. Maybe it’s their yellow coloring or that someone got freaked out when they found one creeping on their banana and named it that. Are they poisonous? They certainly look scary enough to send you to the emergency room, crying for your mommy. The seller doesn’t share any information on them- why should they? Those spiders are long dead, so don’t pose a threat. Plus, the seller probably figures that in this day and age, people can go look up the info themselves. So, to save you that pesky task of looking it up for yourself and to take all the guess work out of this, let’s see what the internet has to say on the matter. Read more “Along Came A Banana Spider”