Hell On Wheels – Zombie Killer Bike Badge

Zombie Killer Bike Badge
This is a Zombie Killer Bike Badge. I’ve been trying to earn one all day by mowing down pedestrians, but I guess I live in a zombie-free neighborhood. There was one old lady who had sores on her mouth who was shambling like the undead, and I thought for sure she was a zombie, but nope. Just a case of the herp and dementia. Then I realized I could just buy the badge. Boy is my face red. Also the front of my bike. Very red. And the streets.

Alien Purse With Green Bike Handle

Alien Purse With Green Bike Handle
Check it. An intergalactic Alien Purse With Green Bike Handle. I finally got you you son of a b*tch! I was 10 years old when someone stole my right hand bike handle, forcing my ride to slightly sway left as I peddled, due to a slight deviation in weight and balance. I swore vengeance as my hair blew in the breeze and I felt the cold metal under my right hand. Kids pointed and laughed!

At last I shall have my vengeance! …By buying this craft fail in order to get my glittery bike handle back. Damn it! I have won!

But you don’t even have that bike anymore!

Shut up mom. Vengeance is mine!
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Zombies Playing Cards

bicycle zombie playing cards
These Zombies Playing Cards will turn your poker night into “The Shuffling Dead”. They feature some pretty cool zombie artwork.

Zombie survival tip #27: You can throw playing cards at a zombie to stab him in the eye. But it probably won’t work. So just run like hell and save your cards for a lonely night in some basement bunker somewhere.
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Call of Cthulhu Playing Cards

cthulu playing cards
Want to spice up your Poker Night? Invite Cthulhu! These Call of Cthulhu Playing Cards feature all kinds of characters based on the Cthulhu mythos. The artwork depicts a selection of eldritch horrors and Lovecraft himself on one card.

I have a full house, Cthulhu high. Let me see that. I’ve never seen Cthulhu high. Yep, he definitely looks stoned. Take your card game to the next horror-filled level with these officially licensed Call of Cthulhu playing cards. *singing* You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em…* Fun fact: I used to think that song was about pizza. I fold mine. Big gut, small mouth.

Gonna go grab a slice or three now and let the cheese drip until I have tentacles all over my chin.
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Glow In The Dark Playing Cards

glow in the dark cards
My alone in the dark poker games just got more exciting thanks to these glow in the dark cards. Who needs friends anyway? The images on the face cards transform and come to life under a black light. Turn the lights out and get playing. The only problem is that you can’t see the chips so you end up betting everything you have on a pair of twos.

That and you can’t see the chips, so you shove poker chips in your mouth instead of potato chips. Needs more salt.