Tag: creepy crawlies

Real Insect Jewelry: Beetle Necklaces

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Real Insect Jewelry Beetle Necklaces
Check out these Beetle Necklaces. These beetles are pretty colorful. Apparently they are also called Weevils, because God forbid you have one easy word for an insect. Stupid scientists and bug nerds!

Evel Knievel was an evil weevil who liked to paint on an easel, and everyone thought he was a weasel. Yay! I made words rhyme. I’m just awesome like that. Did I do good? Can I have a treat daddy? Since I am my own daddy, I say yes. I may have a bag of Cheetos. Awesome. I love you daddy. I know.

Much like the Beatles when wearing Sgt. Pepper uniforms, these beetles are all bright and colorful. And just like two of the four Beatles, these beetles are stuck in their own little coffins for eternity. If I was a Beatle, it would be Paul. Because the Walrus was Paul. Later peeps. There’s a bag of Cheetos with my name on them. Probably because I take a sharpie to the supermarket and autograph everything.
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Spider Coasters Make You Want To Slam Your Glass Down Hard

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Spider Coasters Make You Want To Slam Your Glass Down Hard
ACK! Kill it! *Slams glass down on the spider, sending grape soda everywhere, mostly in my face!* Oh Jesus! *Puts hand to chest to steady my heart.* Why did I think that spider coasters were a good idea?

*Looks down at my glass.* ACK! Spider in my drink! *Throws glass against the wall where it shatters.* Thank god! *Looks where the glass used to be, Sees spider coaster.* ACK! It was under my drink! *Runs to the fridge, gets another glass, fills it with beer, runs back, slams glass on spider, screams because the spider is still there. Breaks down sobbing.* Why? Why? Why?

Along Came A Banana Spider

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arachnophobiaMakes us feel all twitchy and nervous, looking at these banana spider specimens. They’re not as cute and sweet as the yellow tropical fruit they’re named after…not sure why they would call them that even. Maybe it’s their yellow coloring or that someone got freaked out when they found one creeping on their banana and named it that. Are they poisonous? They certainly look scary enough to send you to the emergency room, crying for your mommy. The seller doesn’t share any information on them- why should they? Those spiders are long dead, so don’t pose a threat. Plus, the seller probably figures that in this day and age, people can go look up the info themselves. So, to save you that pesky task of looking it up for yourself and to take all the guess work out of this, let’s see what the internet has to say on the matter. Read more “Along Came A Banana Spider”

Life Hack: Buy Plates With Ants Already On Them

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ants on dishesLooks like the ones I already own, but what the hell, they match my dishware, being all black spotted and crawling. These plates already come with real ants on them. No need to just set your dish on the counter and wait for them to swarm like the Borg Collective maniacs they are.
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