Get it away! Get it away! *Takes a lighter to a can of hairspray and fries your face!* Uh… Sorry. You had a spider- Oh Spider Earrings. My bad. You really shouldn’t wear nature’s nightmares on your ears. Just sayin’.
From HacktBellydance.
Read more “Crazy Scary Spider Earrings”
Oh look. A Giant Spider Statement Ring. I think I can guess what the statement is: Get it the hell off me! Yep, that’s the statement alright. Seeing a spider ring this big really shows you what massive butts they have. That’s because they have to store all kinds of stuff in the badonkadonk. They have to store all of that spider silk, their poop, their pee, their kids… I’m pretty sure that is scientifically valid, cuz I read it once on the web. The web knows about spiders. Duh!
That’s pretty nasty to be carrying all that around in one sack. That’s like you having a huge triple-duty booty and carrying like 3 blankets, all your poop, all your pee and letting your nasty kids bounce around in all that, while you go about your bidness shopping at Walmart.
Spiders is nasty.
Read more “Giant Spider Statement Ring”
Attack of the Beaded Spiders. They’re crawling in your house, crawling in your Christmas tree. Holy sh** they’re crawling all over me. Seriously though, these spiders are going to look good all over your tree. They will probably even creep you out and make you all itchy. I’m scratching all over. But that might be the bag of Oreos and 3 Red Bulls talking. What was that? Who’s there?
I also want to take this moment to remind you all that there are spiders in your home right this very second. Just creeping on their 8 legs. Unseen. Unheard. Always at the edge of your sight. Feeding on tiny insects. Touching you when you don’t know it. Walking on your arm. Careful not to disturb your hair. Biting you, though you are unaware. Living in secret. Perhaps crawling in your ear. Or in your mouth.
Well, goodnight everybody. Have a fit and restful sleep. *yawns*