This Halloween Handbag- Night Flight Sparkly Witch’s Clutch is great for a *itch or a witch, or just a nice lady. So I guess I basically have no point whatsoever. It has witches, spiders and bats and is sparkly. This is what the sophisticated woman about town uses on Halloween night to collect her candy. It probably holds like ten full sized Snickers bars.
Tag: spiders
Spiders Pantyhose For Sexy Black Widows
This is a real leg slapper. Maybe even a knee slapper. Cuz if I see you wearing these Spiders Pantyhose, I’m gonna slap your knee and try to kill those spiders. But the first thing I’m gonna ask is, are those new pantyhose or have they just been laying around for a while in an abandoned house? Then decide from there how to proceed. Pretty sexy though, I have to admit. And I ain’t afraid to say that that’s a nice pair of legs. Looking smooth girl.
My Critter Catcher
ACK! Get it out! Take it outside! No, I can’t do it, I’m too busy standing on the couch screaming! Does that sound like you? Hey, me too. I don’t judge. That’s why I’m getting My Critter Catcher. So I can catch these critters and feel brave. It works by trapping their many legs. I’ll probably feel much calmer catching spiders with this thing and only scream a warrior’s scream. My warrior’s scream just happens to sound like a little girl.
Check out a video below to see spiders get what’s coming to them!
Read more “My Critter Catcher”
Retro Nightmare Print
It’s the 1950s. Your wife has just brought you your pipe and slippers. Your daughter just expressed an opinion so she’s on time-out sitting cross-legged on the floor. Life is good. Even if Betty Crocker over there did manage to burn the casserole. Looks like it’s whiskey for dinner. Again. You turn on your radio for an exciting night of imagination fun-time, when suddenly killer mutant spiders attack. They enter through the fireplace and even bring a large mutant housefly. For some reason, your daughter is playing with one. What do you do?
Apparently you just turn the volume up on the radio and try to tune it all out as you knock back a few glasses of whiskey. That’s just how you deal with stuff in the 1950s. Happened to my folks all the time. I was the kid playing with the spider. By playing I mean screaming in terror and asking daddy why he doesn’t help.
I wasn’t nearly as brave as that girl in this Retro Nightmare Print.
Beaded Spiders For Your Christmas Tree
Attack of the Beaded Spiders. They’re crawling in your house, crawling in your Christmas tree. Holy sh** they’re crawling all over me. Seriously though, these spiders are going to look good all over your tree. They will probably even creep you out and make you all itchy. I’m scratching all over. But that might be the bag of Oreos and 3 Red Bulls talking. What was that? Who’s there?
I also want to take this moment to remind you all that there are spiders in your home right this very second. Just creeping on their 8 legs. Unseen. Unheard. Always at the edge of your sight. Feeding on tiny insects. Touching you when you don’t know it. Walking on your arm. Careful not to disturb your hair. Biting you, though you are unaware. Living in secret. Perhaps crawling in your ear. Or in your mouth.
Well, goodnight everybody. Have a fit and restful sleep. *yawns*