Damn. This Vampire Bat Amulet Necklace looks pissed off. He’s all like, “I am soooo f**king ticked off right now! I don’t even know what to say right now, so I’m just gonna look all shouty.” Classy, but man that bat looks mad as hell. Somebody give that dude a sedative stat! Amulet? More like a damned-ulet! *High fives the indoor house plant next to me.* Okay, calm down bat. I’m wrapping it up. Stop yelling at me. No, I don’t just prattle on forever. You’re a real dick ya know that? Fine, I’m out. You need anger management. No, obviously you do NOT manage it well. Good day sir! I said good day!
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Tag: bizarre
Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains
So basically Praying Mantises have been biding their time and now that the end is nigh, they are going full zombie and eating the brains of birds all over the world. Seems legit. They no doubt plan on eating bird brains until they absorb all of their flying powers and then we will have a new species that can poop on our heads. Great.
More like Preying Mantises. Am I right? Look at that pic. Dude is just munching on that bird brain as it hangs there. That would be like me hanging out a second story window with my teeth gripping a cow by the head, instead of just having a burger. It’s just showboating, which is why Mantises and me will never get along. Showoff zombie vermin!
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Guy Pulled Over For Speeding Has Alien Riding Shotgun
So this guy in Alpharetta, Georgia was pulled over for speeding on Sunday afternoon and guess what? Dude had an Alien riding shotgun in the car. The car was clocked at 84 mph. Duh! It takes 88 to get the alien tech known as the Flux Capacitor to kick in, so that your ride turns into a UFO and you zip on out of here. Or become one with a tree. The tech isn’t that great to be honest. Dude was just trying to get ET back to his home planet. Only 4 miles off. My heart goes out to the now stranded outer space rim-prober. Now he’s stuck with us nut jobs forever.
Only 4 miles shy. Man, that has to suck!
That Exists – Weird Catnip Cat Toy Fetus
Yep, that exists. A Cat Toy Fetus. Great precedent to set. Now cats are going to want to play with fetuses all the time. They’ll be attacking pregnant women just to get at the cat toy they are carrying inside. Great idea. They are gonna give upon mice in favor of their new favorite toy. The fetus. Meh. Whatevs. I guess. At this point I just have a de-fetus attitude.
Also get this fetus for your wall.
Scary Swimwear – The Klownkini Bikini
Not sure is terrifying or super sexy. I’ll get back to you on that. The Klownkini Bikini has clown stuff in all of the right places. Sadly. It’s blocking my view. Okay, enough clowning around. Those clown teeth are gonna do some serious damage to that girls mid-section though. Well, that’s life in the circus for you. If I see this at the beach, I’m running. Wear these heels with it.
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