What. In. The. F*ck! So I saw this today. Can’t unsee it either. I tried washing my eyes out with bleach too. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I poured bleach in my ears, hoping to burn it from my mind. Still seeing it in my head, but now I also feel woozy. So it’s a fetus. Also a chair. Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair. A fetus of what though? I have no clue. Sit on it, sleep with it, hang out with it all day long if you want. You will have the biggest fetus around.
I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I like it. I like it a lot. Apparently some mad scientist has created a seed that will let you grow some peppers that are shaped like sexy woman bodies. I call it the “Pervy Pepper”. It is one voluptuous vegetable. Sexy time and gardening collide at long last. I’m gonna grow a bunch and dress them in little bikinis so I can impress my neighbors. Not this one though cuz damn!
Two British athletes starring on a reality show are claiming that a sex ghost is haunting their hotel rooms. British paralympian Kadeena Cox and retired rugby star Gareth Thomas are two of the celebrities competing on “The Jump”. I know, I never heard of it either. Famous people compete in snow sports and jump things. Or something. But shizz got real. During the episode, Cox reportedly asked for a new room after being sexually violated by a ghost. Excuse me for 5 minutes while I giggle at the name. Cox! Hahahahha. Okay, I’m back.
Anyway, Cox “was penetrated” by a ghost.
“She had a ghost going in and out of her. She had a sleep thing,” he said, according to the Sun. “She wishes it were a person… It was going in and out of her body.”
Sounds like you have a serious case of disembodied ghost weiner. Who ya gonna call? Seriously, I’m guessing it is a case of sleep-wanking, pure and simple. Happens to me a lot. Sometimes you don’t remember. Sometimes it is a ghost and they never call you back. Or they get too clingy and get in bed every night for a week, until you say you have a headache. I don’t know why I waited a week, okay? That’s not the point. Read more “Sex Ghost Haunts Reality Show”
Police in Oregon were in a slimy and sticky situation on Thursday. Also an icky situation. That’s cuz a truck carrying 7,500 pounds of live hagfish spilled its contents onto the highway and over everyone else’s cars. I was there man! You don’t know! You have no idea!
*Screams like that midget from Twin Peaks and points.* DOPPELGANGER! Sometimes the truth comes out in photos, like when people capture UFOS, Bigfoot, or peen pics that prove how small it is. They can even reveal possession like in this photo, which shows a selfie that captured this woman’s good and evil personas. The bad one is the one on the right that looks like she is shouting at an unseen man during PMS. Just so we’re clear. The possession only came to light because the woman “sneezed”. It’s being played off like the sneeze is the reason for the odd photo, but we know better.
The one on the left is all like, “Awww. I’m so sweet and innocent” while the one on the right just wants you dead and is pissed to be caught on camera. That one is having a heavy flow and just wants any man dead. She’s clearly two-faced. Must be a Gemini. Read more “Woman Sneezes During Selfie Revealing Dark-Side Doppelganger”
