Tag: blanket

Coffin Beach Towel – Tan In Peace

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Coffin Beach Towel - Tan In Peace

Life’s a beach and then ya die! Might as well soak up the sun and surf on this Coffin Beach Towel. You’ll look good like you are resting in peace to the beachgoers around you. This is how us strange and unusual folks lounge at the beach. They’ll probably all start laying flower bouquets around you and crying. Saying stuff like, “Look how young she was” or “What a tragedy. Good turnout though. Must have been pretty popular”.

Now I’m crying too. And I’m still mourning for all of the jewelry in this Coffin Jewelry Box. Though I gotta say, that model is looking sexy as hell laying on that Coffin Beach Towel. Is that weird?

Mermaid Skeleton Blanket – The Brittle Mermaid?

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Mermaid Skeleton Blanket - The Brittle Mermaid?

Ohhh look at this beauty. This Mermaid Skeleton Blanket looks all kinds of cool and all kinds of creepy. The Little Mermaid? More like The Brittle Mermaid. Am I right?  How you gonna swim around with your bones all exposed, girl? I mean I walk around with my bone exposed all the time, hence several restraining orders, but that’s beside the point. You’re not even skin and bones. Just bones and nothing but the bones. It is the perfect blanket for that dark unda da sea feel. It’s got skeleton fish, some neat tentacle action in the mix, and of course, our bony siren of the sea looking all goth and dark. I like this Mermaid Skeleton blanket just as much as I like the octopus and mermaid shower curtain. Don’t make me choose a favorite. I can’t. They’re both beautiful ladies of the sea. I would date them both, but it’s not like you can take old miss bony here out to dinner. Plus, all of those bones would just be jabbing you in bed. But I still find her to be a very  sexy siren. She’s just plain cool. Tenta-cool if ya know what I mean. And I think you do.

Rest In Peace Under This Queen Size Skull Crochet Blanket

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Queen Size Skull Crochet Blanket
This Queen Size Skull Crochet Blanket has more skulls than you can shake a guillotine at. Does that even make sense? I have no idea. I need a nap. This looks like a good blanket to take a nap in, just as long as it’s not your final resting place. Skulls everywhere. In many colors. It ticks off three boxes of the things I like best. Comfy. Cozy. Creepy.

Horror Character Lineup Baby Blanket

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Horror Character Lineup Baby BlanketDo you have a baby? I bet it screams a lot and poops itself. I totally get that. I too have irritable bowel syndrome. Well, give your baby something to really scream about and put this Horror Character Lineup Baby Blanket in his or her crib. Cuz it’s never too late to scar your child for life and make some therapist filthy rich. It features Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, Michael Meyers and more.

What’s junior screaming about? Probably needs his diaper changed. Nope, he’s just terrified of his new play friends. God only knows what kind of weirdo that kid is going to grow up to be. The next Freddy? Could be.

The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket

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The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket
This The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket looks warm and cozy. You know what the sleeping rituals of Cthulhu are? Well, he likes to spoon, he likes to be spooned and gyrate his hips, sleep on his side with his knees up so he’s poking you with his knees, sometimes he curls up in the fetal position and sucks his thumb. Those are the rituals of the great tentacled one. Stay warm my friends.