Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue

Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue
Check out this Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue.

Oh man, I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate. I think I’m just gonna lie down over- AHHHHHHH! Something’s ripping up my insides and for once it’s not a fart. OH GOD! OH GOD! *Alien bursts out of my chest* Are you as surprised to see me as I am to see you? Cool. Technically you’re my kid you know. I just gave birth to you. And I want to thank you for being considerate enough to not burst out of my rectum. *Kisses his slimy head, then it bites my face off*

Baby Alien Xenomorph Fetus Chest Burster Necklace

Baby Alien Xenomorph Fetus Chest Burster Necklace
My wife keeps bugging me for a baby. You want a baby? I’ll give you a baby. And I don’t mean that Baby Ruth I dropped in the public pool last week. A Xenomorph baby! How ya like that? This Baby Alien Xenomorph Fetus Chest Burster Necklace is your birthday gift. Baby delivered.

What do you mean you already have a fully grown baby? By the way, have you seen my blanky? You didn’t leave it at the laundromat again I hope. And why does Mr. Snuggles have a pair of scissors in his abdomen? *Inspects bear closer* Is this like the time my pajamas accidentally got thrown in the wood chipper? I can’t have anything nice.

3D Alien Chest Burster Poster

alien 3d poster
In space no one can hear you scream. That’s true of the internet too, because you didn’t hear me scream like a girl a minute ago when I spotted a spider. Outside. On the other side of a closed window. Terrifying. But I’m better now.

This 3D Alien Chest Burster Poster really makes a statement. I’m gonna hang it in a hallway about so high, so that every time I pass it, I can shake it like a hand or high five it. He’ll be my little bloody buddy. What was that guy’s name who had this thing burst out of his chest? I have no idea, but his name should have been Ripley. RIPPPP. Here I am, all bloody with my neck sticking out of your chest. What’s up guys? Got any snacks?
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