Cha cha cha Chia! This Zombie Chia Pet is a great way to decorate your home with a zombie that won’t eat your brains. I don’t think. It just looks like a zombie crawling out of the grass. I’m no good with pets so I’m just gonna pass on this one. I would probably forget to feed it and that’s when the zombie would come after me trying to get a brain snack. He’s in for a big surprise. There’s not much there. The joke is on you Chia Zombie. Why do you think I forgot to feed ya.
Tag: chia pet
Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver
Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver like it’s the 70s. Well, maybe not THAT hairy. People were crazy back then. This cool pet for your desk will have everyone wanting to look at and pet your beaver. “That’s filthy!” says some woman in Montana as she thumps her bible. But I guarantee you one thing. She wants to touch it. It’s just gardening after all.
Just put your beaver into the watering bowl and cover it with grass seeds. Then watch as your beaver gets nice and bushy. Trim your beaver. Give it a mohawk, whatever you want.
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Bigfoot Chia Pet: Cr- Cr- Cr- Cryptid
Now you can have a Bigfoot sighting on your kitchen counter top or table. This Bigfoot Chia Pet has traded in his stinky fur in for some green herbs. It looks like a stylish Sasquatch business suit that he grew himself. Plus it makes a comfy bed. That he can wear and poop in and stuff, while he’s rubbing his big old Bigfoot butt against trees. I wish I could wear my own bed. How com the Sasquatch can just drop and sleep wherever he is and I can’t?
I’m making my own Chia suit. Not only will it be super comfy, but it will definitely make me smell better too. It beats the one I’m wearing now. Makes me all itchy. I picked a bunch of leaves near some geek convention or something, because the sign said Poison Ivy. Bah. I didn’t see any hot cosplayer covered in greenery or even Batman. Man, I’m really itching and burning. Should I be able to scratch clear down to my bone like that, through a blistery and bloody hole?
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Just In Time For Halloween: Zombie Chia Pets
These Zombie Chia pets are like regular Chia Pets, just more undead. You can choose from an arm reaching up out of the grave, Lifeless Lisa, or Creepy Holden. All will be green and undead. They are going to look great as a Halloween display. Lifeless Lisa looks just like my Grandma, who definitely needs some conditioner.
I swear, I could give her that one, put it in front of a framed piece of aluminum foil and she would think she was looking in the mirror. Silly oldsters! No, I don’t know why your hair is still green despite your shampooing it a hundred times. Just get in the car. Do you want your prescription or not? And remember, the mirrors in the outside world lie. Trust no one. Except for me. You’re still leaving me some property right?
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