Wearing a fish around your neck like a necklace? Sounds gross and barbaric to me. The most off-putting thing about carrying a raw fish around is the odor. Especially on a hot day. These will be fin though since they are coated in resin. Fine. I mean fine. Not fin. Just a typo. I really floundered on that one. This Real Fish Resin Earrings and Necklace is… ew!
Tag: fish
Alien Xenomorph Looking Sharks Caught Near Taiwan – Get Away From Her, You Fish!
The world continues to get crazier and more nightmarish every day and not just because I just dropped two ice cubes in a whiskey glass only find out I’m out of Nyquil. Well, mainly because of that, but also because of these Alien Xenomorph Looking Sharks that were recently snagged by researchers near Taiwan. Yes, they look like Alien Xenomorphs. Yes, I’m not sleeping anytime soon. Are those snake teeth on a shark? Yes they are. They can move their jaw beyond their mouth. *Sigh. Shakes Nyquil over the ice one more time. Nothing comes out… Again. Looks out the window.* Oh, now I see the problem. BRB.
*Returns with new bottle. Pours it. Drinks. Ahhhhhhh.* Silly me, trying to drink Nyquil when it’s day outside. Luckily I have a fresh batch of Dayquil. That hit the spot. Don’t try this at home. I’m what you call a professional.
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Holy Mackerel: Fish Zipper Pouch / Coin Purse
Holy Mackerel. This Fish Zipper Pouch is exactly what I need when I go fish shopping.
“That will be $45 sir.” (I buy a lot of fish.) “I see a fish sticking out of your pocket sir! Did you steal that?”
“$45.That’s an outrage!” *Pulls my fish pouch out and slaps her with it.* Whoops! That didn’t make the squishy sound I expected on your face. Of course, I didn’t steal this one. It’s a pouch. I stole this one!”
*Whips a fish out of my other pocket and slaps her with it. Runs for the exit.*
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Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers
Sweet! I wish someone had made me some Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers like this when I was a kid. Since I am having a second childhood that began at 13 and is never-ending, I’m gonna get some for myself. Look at that friggin thing just bursting out of the cake! Bam! Shark’s here! Whatchu gonna do bout it? I’m gonna eat ya with a special 4-harpoon fork I designed myself, that’s what!
*Attaches harpoon fork to string. Loads it up in my air-gun. Pulls trigger. Harpoon impales that shark body DEEP!* Yeah son! That’s how it is!
*Reels him in and the shark falls off the cake, tumbling across the floor on it’s way to me. Picks it up and holds it to my mouth. Looks at the mountain of cat hair and dirt all over it.* Oh, hell no!
*Drops shark to the floor and cries like a two year old*
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Hanging Puffer Fish Lamp
Nothing is classier than a giant Puffer Fish Lamp hanging from your ceiling. Decorate your home with this porcupine of the sea and always be reminded that it’s toxins can kill you when you take just one bite. It will remind you every time you hit your head on it’s many spikes.
It’s perfect for your underwater themed rooms. All puff, no fluff, just a bunch of spiky stuff. Ow! My head! Ow! My head!
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