Tag: crazy

Crazy Five-Eyed Dog Sculpture

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creepy five eyed mutant dog
Check out this Crazy Five-Eyed Dog Sculpture. Give me five! Hahaha. I used to have a dog with five eyes and it really isn’t funny. He got old and cost me a friggin’ fortune at Lenscrafters. Finally got him some sweet mirrored sunglasses. He looked like he had a solar panel on his head. I’m just saying, I know what these dogs are like.

Go fetch. He’s like fetch what? I see stuff on both sides of my head and from up above. Human jerk. Dog had so many eyes I named him Mississippi River. Had to add the river because Mississippi only has four I’s. Then he decided to get cataracts. Naturally I had to pay five times the going rate. Then I cried a Mississippi River and told the vet to end my suffering by ending that five eyed freak! I’m still paying for it. TWO eyes people. Have pets with two eyes! Can’t stress that enough.
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The Bra Pouch: Shake Your Money Maker

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bra purse
Etsy seller JamesKelleysShop offers some unique coin purses that are made out of women’s bras. These over the shoulder boulder holders will hold coins, make up, your ID, everything but baby milky snacks. James is clearly a bro that loves bras. As are we all. Looking for something a little bigger to hold your tablet? Tough titty.

Don’t be a boob, carry your most important accessories the same way women carry theirs.

Pro tip: Can be used as an awesome and effective slingshot when needed. Put a rock in it and hit some dude on the head so he grows a nipple on his scalp. No, don’t do that bra. I mean bro!

Asylum For The Insane Note Card Set

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insane stationary
I have stationary like this from when my wife had her “little vacation”. Kept saying I drove her crazy! That’s insane! And just not true! But I did drive her right up to the front doors of the asylum. They gave me some sweet swag like this Asylum For The Insane Notecard Set and a bunch of pharmaceutical key chains and crap, from the pill pushers who really make people crazy. Then I drove off and partied like it was 1999, even though it was 2008. That’s just how much the booze cost.

Don’t worry, I picked her up again after a few days when I couldn’t figure out how to heat up a TV dinner and after I ruined the toaster, trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich. She felt much better being with more “normal” people. Then we just continued our relationship where we left off. Throwing heavy items at each other and then tending each other’s wounds.
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Nic Cage Raking Leaves On A Brisk October Afternoon Fragrance Oil

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nicolas cage
Now you can experience the smell of Nic Cage as he goes about his daily chores. With a goofy look on his face of course, cause that’s what Nic does. Experience the gentle scent of Nic Cage Raking Leaves On A Brisk October Afternoon.

Leaves. Crisp fall air. Deciduous woods. A black leather jacket, well-loved. Maybe the one he wore in Ghost Rider, because there’s also some Egyptian Amber in there reminiscent of some of his more, erm, peculiar character acting habits. A light musk, and just a hint of patchouli and men’s aftershave.

Wait. Nic Cage can actually use a rake? I don’t think that is very believable. However, your Nic Cage in leaf wreath label has sold me on it.

Needle Felted Kitchen Hat

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kitchen hatThis $420.Needle Felted Kitchen Hat has everything but the kitchen sink. It also lacks food, a stove, a microwave, and chairs for the kitchen table. It’s pretty bare. No wonder that dog looks so depressed. He’s waiting for a snack that never comes. Maybe they just moved in.

It does have curtains. I don’t know if the curtains match the drapes, but I know that the dog matches the floor. I often wear the kitchen on my head too, but that’s only because the wife likes to dump food on my head after I criticize her cooking. So what if I like my food shaped like dinosaurs. That DOES NOT make me a baby. The way I cry and suck my thumb afterwards does!
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