What’s this? Pez? Did someone say Pez? Ohhhh I love that candy. It’s a Functional Alien Xenomorph Pez dispenser? Whatevs. Like I care. I just want the sweet taste of candy on my tongue. Come here, baby. Flip that alien neck and give me the good stuff. *Tongues dispenser way too erotically.* Oh, that’s good. I can taste it- AHHHHHHHHH! why you bit mah ton off? AHHHHH! Da blood! Da blood! Now I’m gone talk dis way fur eva! Tanks a lot for da peach im-bediment!
Tag: creature
Insane Clown Fetus In Search Of Juggalos
Look at thisclown fetus. He’s saying, “What am I some kind of joker? Do I amuse you? Do I make you laugh?” Uhhh. Not really. I kinda want to cry and hide in the corner while calling for my mom. Sucking my thumb is optional, but Imma do it anyway. Is that your umbilical cord or… I don’t want to know. Damn son! Are you with the Insane Clown Posse or did you just come outta an insane clown p*ssy? I think I know the answer.
Ewwww! Chattergrub Bolo Tie
This Chattergrub Bolo Tie is a stylish and disgusting accessory. What’s a chattergrub? I have no idea. I think it’s a grub that talks and talks and talks until you can’t take it anymore. If that’s what it is, I know some people that are infected by this thing. STFU already! Damn! Still, this creature will make its way into your heart. Other internal organs too.
Needle Felted Albino Vampire Bat Family
Awwww. This Needle Felted Albino Vampire Bat Family is the cutest set of little bloodsuckers. They look so soft and cuddly. At least until they bite your face and start sucking your blood. I don’t even care. I want to adopt the whole family. And since they want my blood, this should be very interesting.
Loch Ness Monster Corpse Found on Beach in Georgia
The remains of a mysterious sea creature that looks like the Loch Ness Monster washed ashore on a beach in Georgia. See, they do exist! If it swims like a plesiosaur and dies like a plesiosaur, it’s a damn plesiosaur people! Check out a newscast about it below. They had to blur out some guts where the birds picked at it. I thought they were blocking out a big dino-Weiner at first.
It could also be a sea creature called ‘Altamaha’ that is said to lurk in the area. Loch Ness? This thing is more like a Loch Mess. Am I right?
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