This Alien Art Doll is one toke over the line. Or five. Dude is totally baked. Looks like he’s drooling out of his alien talk-hole too. Whatever planet his body is on, dude’s mind is in the outer limits. Wait! What the-? Are his hands really little toes, with a toenail on each? What the deuce? This guy is totally baked and I would be too if I looked like him.
Tag: creature
Freaky Rat Worm Sighting
What the shizz! Check out this nightmarish mystery creature that resembles some kind of cross between a rat and worm. What is this nightmare? It ain’t nothing like your common rat. Some British woman noticed this freaky rat slithering around on her back porch, just chilling. I would have stomped on it but would be too afraid that a million tiny spiders would burst out and all attack me. I hope this woman had the good sense to move away from that house after seeing this thing.
The rat clock didn’t even tell me it was time for this weird nightmare. I’m not seeing the rat part myself, but maybe rats are different in Britain. I don’t know what this thing is, but I don’t want any part of it. Nope. Not the rat part and not the worm part. Does it have a knife? That looks like a blade. It looks like it’s ready to cut a b***h! Looks like a butter knife. I wonder if it waved that blade around to scare this British woman. This freaky rat is tough. From the streets for sure. The hood. I wonder what its gang name is. Probably the Knife Worms.
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Killer Bunny Mimic
Awwww. What a nice wittle bun-bun- AHHHHHHHH My hand! My hand! It’s just gone. Why must cute things always be deadly? This wabbit is wabid! A killer with teeth that will tear you to shreds. What’s not to love? The teeth are on the underside so it can just hop on its prey and have a quick lunch. Bugs Bunny? More like Thugs Bunny!
Mecha Kraken Statue
The Mecha Kraken Statue is all powerful. Mecha Krakens are way more powerful than the average beast. I’m not sure if Krakens have balls, but if they do, this guy has some big brass ones. That is one badass sea monster.
Bigfoot Action Figure – Eh, Could Be Bigger
Big feet require a big action figure. Big feet is what the Bigfoot Action Figure is all about. He’s a real American hero. This hairy dude stands 7.25″ tall and is articulated for some awesome Bigfoot-posing action. Pose him how he was in the Patterson film. Pose him how he was when your cousin Jethro spotted him carrying off the family goat. Pose him like he’s taking a sasquatch in the woods and his stomach is all in knots cuz he has diarrhea. It’s all good.