Jurassic Houseware: Dinosaur Plates

dinosaur plates

Eat up and make that meal extinct when you eat off of Dinosaur Plates. Have some Tex-Mex on a T-Rex, serve up the broccoli on a Brachiosaurus. Get all Pie-rannosaurus on a Tyrannosaurus! Reminds me of that time my roommate got a set of fancy Dinosaur plates. I cut a hole in the ceiling and waited for him to finish his dinner, then I throw rocks through the hole and broke ’em into a million pieces. “Meteors! Run or you’ll all be extinct!”

After he cooled down, he ordered more and informed me that the dinosaurs went extinct because the plant life died everywhere, not because of a meteor. So the next week I threw out all of his fruit and vegetables and put X’s over all the dinosaur eyes before I smashed the plates and buried them in his trash, with some chocolate syrup to simulate fossil fuel.

Alien Head Salt And Pepper Shakers

alien salt and pepper shakers
This set of Alien Head Salt And Pepper Shakers is what you want on the table when you abduct your next dinner guest. As any alien knows, it is only polite to feed them first, before you go anal probing the subject. Wine ’em, dine ’em, then confine ’em. That’s my motto! Wait! That came out wrong. I mean, if I was an alien.

This is a swell spread guys. You are the best dinner hosts an abductee could want. Thanks for the meal. And here I was worried that I was going to be subjected to experimentation. Ha! You guys are alright! What’s next? I have plenty of room for dessert!*rubs tummy*

*Four sets of black eyes turn toward me* The leader sends me a telepathic answer:

Uranus.

*Jaw drops to the table.* *Passes out and falls forward into a bowl of mashed potatoes.*