This is the Skull Chair With Crazy Crystal Eyes that I’ve been waiting for so I can be a villain who tries to take over the world. Petting a cat is mandatory when sitting in this chair. As is a shark tank. And I don’t mean that stupid show where people invent stuff. I’m talking great whites. I am the man in charge now biatches!
I’ll sit with my back to the door so the skull eyes can hypnotize my enemies when they enter my lair.
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This Octopus Cuff Bracelet is buff and tough and on the cuff. He’s kinda tender, kinda rough. Sadly, I’ve reached my rhyming limit for the day. This guy is large and in charge and super shiny. It’s like the kind of jewelry that an Octopus Queen would wear while summoning a Kraken. I bet it deflects bullets like Wonder Woman’s cuffs too, but don’t take my word on that. Makes me want to start an octopus jewelry business called Octopus Inc. Get it? I know, I’m a riot. Mostly cuz your silence is beating at me like a hundred police right now.
Remember Newt Cloninger-Clements? He’s the dude that made those horror happy meals. Well, now you can actually buy them. Etsy shop HangMeOfficial has made a bunch of them that you can purchase. You can even get them with the toy included if you pay a bit more.
They also have horror themed Jiffy Pop pans. I say horror all of the food stuffs! Do these have actual popcorn inside? I have no idea since I half-ass my job and couldn’t be bothered to look, but I hope so. Even if they don’t, they are pretty cool.
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This Molten Lava Gargoyle is hot hot hot. It’s gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight. It’s lava-ly isn’t it? Fun fact: I accidentally typed isn tit at first. Made me giggle. This gargoyle is going to look amazing in your home,on your roof, or wherever. You can put him on your roof, no roofies required. That’s how I usually get mine up there, and it’s wrong. I’m sorry. Now I just ask nicely.
It’s the day of the dead. Dia De Los Muertos biatches. These Sugar Skull Necklaces are sugary and sweet. Also creepy and cool. They make me so hungry cuz they look like awesome candy colors. These are ceramic though so if they were in front of me there goes every tooth in my mouth, falling everywhere. More like Day of the dentist.
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