Wear this Silver Chupacabra Necklace in honor of the world’s most famous goat sucker. Unlike the Chupacabra itself, this necklace does not suck. He’s in a sweet action pose like he’s about to pounce on his prey. Or at least just dive in a dumpster and snag half a big-mac. Hey, you gotta eat. So shiny. So deadly. So full of the blood of goats.
Tag: silver
Octopus Cuff Bracelet Looks Tenta-Cool!
This Octopus Cuff Bracelet is buff and tough and on the cuff. He’s kinda tender, kinda rough. Sadly, I’ve reached my rhyming limit for the day. This guy is large and in charge and super shiny. It’s like the kind of jewelry that an Octopus Queen would wear while summoning a Kraken. I bet it deflects bullets like Wonder Woman’s cuffs too, but don’t take my word on that. Makes me want to start an octopus jewelry business called Octopus Inc. Get it? I know, I’m a riot. Mostly cuz your silence is beating at me like a hundred police right now.
Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces
These Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces are caw-ing your name ladies. See what I did there. That’s just some wordplay to get things started, cuz I know how you like it. I’m not some savage who just whips out his bird (necklace) first thing. But forget all that. Throw caw-tion to the wind and accessorize with these awesome skulls, with sapphire, ruby, topaz, amethyst and peridot stones. Caws you deserve it. I promise you won’t cry fowl. The price? A poultry sum. I’m not gonna crow about it anymore. Even though they are worth raven about.
Vampire Repellent Necklace
Vampires hate garlic. That’s why I eat garlic bread every night of the week. Saved my life many times. Like that night I saw a shadowy figure and I hissed like a wild cat, spreading my garlic venom through the air toward him. Naturally, he retreated at the same time I continued on my way. That time it was just a reflection of myself in the store window, but still. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bites to the neck. This Vampire Repellent Necklace will help too.
Vampires hate garlic and they hate garlic clove pendants. They won’t mess with garlic in any form. That’s why you never see any Italian Vampire chefs.
Pro tip: Always watch who’s buying the garlic products at the grocery store. That’ll tell ya who isn’t a bloodsucker. Anyone that does not buy garlic definitely needs to be followed home and staked. By a professional of course. Don’t try that at home.
Gothic Bat Necklace
Even if you don’t know much about fashion and style, you can always wing it with this Gothic Bat Necklace. Get it? Wing it? Oh, this would look lovely on you Morticia. You too Elvira. Yeah, so what if I’m a name dropper? Once I dropped my friend Jennifer’s name. Broke a few letters. Now she’s just Jen. No, not Jenny from the block. Jenny the checkout girl from the store down the street. Nah, she doesn’t work the register. I just like to check her out. Well, not like a library book or anything. She doesn’t have time and date stamps down her spine from me checking her out.
Oh man, I get so off track after like 4 cups of coffee. Also after some D cups. Any size really. Damn, I’m really tweakin’ here guys. Off track like a wrecked race car. Okay, calm down. I can do this. *Takes a deep breath.*
Basically I’m trying to say that this Bat Necklace is awesome. It’s the bees knees. The bat’s knees. Bat-knee. Is that bat acne? I have no guano idea.
I’m out. Gonna go run around the house and scream until I feel normal again.