Tag: etsy

These Cool Monster Mugs Will Bite Your Face Off

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These Cool Monster Mugs Will Bite Your Face Off
Etsy seller MonsterMug isn’t called that because of their acne problem or cuz they are just plain ugly. They may be horrendous. Don’t know, never met them. I’ve heard stories though. But they go by that name cuz they make awesome and scary monster mugs. Kinda like that lady cashier I always run into at the Quicky Mart, except those are monster jugs. Really, nothing at all like that, except that it rhymes.

These mugs are fun and playful, but scary and they look like they want to bite your face off. One question: If I’m drinking out of a monster mouth? Are we swapping spit?
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Addam’s Family Candle Set

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Addams Family Candle Set
They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky. They’re all together ooky. Uncle Fester took a dookie. The Addams Family…. Holy Morticia, this is a cool Addam’s Family Candle Set. The candle light shows through the images, making them look all extra scary. What kind of a name is Wednesday Addams anyway? Who names their kid after a day of the week? I guess it’s better than calling your kid “hump day”. These candles are going to look awesome in your home. Especially if your shelves are like mine and full of cobwebs cuz you don’t clean. My houses is haunted. By laziness.

Crocheted Freddy Krueger

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Crocheted Freddy Krueger
Exerience the softer side of Freddy with this cute Crocheted Freddy Krueger. He kind of looks like an old man with that hat. Like he’s retired and playing golf in Florida somewhere with other retired movie slashers. The only nightmare on elm street these days are when his back pain is flaring up. Or when the weather makes his joints hurt. Hell, I’m not even scared of him anymore. He probably plays cards with my grandmother and bitches about the price of just about everything. I kinda feel sorry for him. Maybe he’s in an old folks home, drooling in some chair, lazily slashing at the air, reliving his glory days. Mouthing some words that no one can understand. Taking his pills every night.

See. Nothing to be scared of. Unless this is all part of his game to lure me in… Now I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you guys and let you know if I get attacked by this old dude. Or if I end up playing Scrabble with him. Hey, why wouldn’t I play? I like winning. Dude’s a vegetable.

Ouija Board Cutting Board

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Ouija Board Cutting Board
If I cut cheese on this Ouija Board Cutting Board, does that make it a Cheeja cutting board? Is that a cheesy joke? Anyhow, if you cut the cheese on a ouija board, it upsets the spirits. Boy did I learn that the hard way during a seance. Yeah, I woke the dead alright. The medium was gagging through a handkerchief, people passing out, the planchette just freaking out, whirling around the board and highlighting NO over and over and GOODBYE, like it wanted to commit suicide. I was the last one standing and I wasn’t invited back.

But enough about me. How have you been? It’s been so long. I feel like we never talk. K bye!

Godzilla Necktie

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Godzilla Necktie
Stop stomping around the office you imbecile! And get those reports on my desk within the hour. Sorry boss, but this sweet Godzilla Necktie just kind of takes over, you know? I’m stomping around Tokyo. Those staplers and other company property that I just crushed with my feet? That’s Tokyo. I’ll get those reports to you within the hour sir.

Forty minutes later…

*Bursts through the bosses wall like the Kool-Aid man, with a loud monster shriek, flailing my arms as I drop the report on the desk.* I’m fired aren’t I? Yeah, I’ll just pack up my stuff. It’s been fun.