Tag: gross

Wreck The Halls – Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments

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Wreck The Halls - Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments
These Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments are not just moose turds that you fling at your tree. They are highly polished pieces of poop attached to various brass and other backgrounds. I was always told that you can’t polish a turd, but I guess Etsy seller sharkman123 has found a way. I especially like the one that is a butterfly carrying a big shiny steamer as if it’s going from one butt to another, pollinating poop. You don’t see that everyday. More like Butt-erfly. Am I right? Except this kind evolves from a scat-erpiller. And that’s the straight poop!

Merry s**ts-mas everyone.
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Hand Embroidered Centipedes

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Hand Embroidered Centipedes
This is an original hand embroidery of centipedes crawling around some Cheetos dust. Perfect for framing and putting on your wall. I had this on my tablet sitting on the floor, so at first I thought this was a napkin that I dropped after accidentally eating a bunch of centipedes. So now my tablet has been smashed violently by my foot and is covered in vomit since I induced my anti-centipede vomiting protocol. You win some, you lose some. You puke some. You puke a lot actually. How the hell am I gonna explain this to the guys at Best Buy, when I tell ’em it came like that? Last week it was a puke covered VR helmet!

Gross Ear Magnet

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Gross Ear Magnet
Does your fridge have gross ears? It will now, thanks to this Gross Ear Magnet. Is that a zit? Or some other disease? I wanna pop it so it squirts everytime I open the fridge. I’m talking one of those long distance squirts that gets all over the bathroom mirror. Maybe I’ll talk into it before I open the fridge. “You better have two slices of pizza and some fried chicken in there or I will box your ears!”

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

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Gross Monster Spoon Rests
Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

iPhone Umbilical Cord Helps You Stay Connected

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iPhone Umbilical Cord Helps You Stay Connected
So this exists. An iPhone Umbilical Cord. It helps you stay connected. Get it? Yeah, it’s pretty gross. Great, now I have to play Pokemon Go for two. This thing is like a leech. It would probably suck up all my calcium and minerals, and give it to my iPhone baby. Check out the video to see how creepy and gross this thing really is. It looks like a snake trying to swallow an iPhone. It also looks like an iPhone trying to use a fleshlight. Not sure which. You see what Apple wants for all of us?
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