Holy venomous f**k! My spider Queen. At last I found you. Let me kneel before you and present you with your Spider Queen Cape. Remember me? I was at the ball that night and we were dancing when the clock struck midnight and you ran for your carriage, dropping your spider cape. I knew that one day I would finally find the woman who fits into it perfectly. So what do I call you? The Queen mum? Spider Queen? Mother of spiders? Her royal highness? I really dig the whole superhero spider theme. Hey, nice web-sack. You’re keeping fit I see. *Smacks the royal booty and it explodes into thousands of spiders.* I see you’ve started having children without me. Laterz. *Runs*
Tag: horror
Horror Bunnies – Rabid Rabbits and Horrible Hares
Etsy seller TheNaughtyRabbit knows exactly why she’s been naughty. She keeps eating the carrots out of my garden. But I’ll get that wascally wabbit. These Horror bunnies are horrible. Terrible. You might say Hare-rible. They’re rabbits and horror characters in one. You can choose from The Addams Family, Michael Myers, Creature from the Black Lagoon and many more. Even Krampus. If I see these things in my yard, I’m moving. I’ll have to take a plane out of O’Hare. See what I did there? I know these guys are gonna put a hit out on the Easter bunny and make Easter more like Halloween.
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Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set
Really enjoying my Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set. Every night I light these bad boys and pray. Dear God, please don’t let Frankenstein’s monster find my house. Or his wife. Please don’t let the mummy invade my dreams and suffocate me by wrapping me in his bandages while he turns into my doppelganger and lives my life. Just keep me safe k? Thanks.
Gothic Skull Cameo Earrings
Hey girls. You know what would look great with your skull? Two more skulls. One of each side. These Gothic Skull Cameo Earrings are to die for. Hehe I made a funny. Which is better than making a boom boom, especially when it’s unexpected and your stomach is raging like a storm, and the lightning inside that storm strikes, and makes a real boom boom in your boxers, and you’re in the grocery store. Clean in aisle me! But digress. *Sigh* It’s been a tough day and that’s a long walk out of the store. These earrings are going to look great and goth and great googly moogly in your ear-holes.
3D Freddy Krueger Bookmarks
Freddy comes out of your dreams and into your book with these cool 3D Freddy Krueger Bookmarks. You best not shred the pages with your knife hands Freddy. I got one more chapter to go and this shizz is getting intense. I don’t wanna miss the climax, like my peener so often does. Apparently, his eyes and mouth glow, so you can find your book in the dark and then read it under the sheets with a flashlight cuz it’s a dirty book, full of dirty girls.
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