Interior Frighting – 3D Printed Skull Lamp

3D Printed Skull LampAt last, a lamp that makes my skull glow! Well, not my skull. What am I, radioactive? The skull/lamp skull. Alas, poor Horatio. I knew him well. I will miss him. He was always a bright guy… So bright I use his skull to read by at night. I think I might put this in my window and freak out the neighbors. And speaking of great ideas, it’s like this skull lamp is having a bright idea everytime you turn it on.

Don’t worry, no actual skulls were harmed to make this lamp. It’s 3D printed. Which I think means that they wear those blue and red glasses while they make it, so it jumps out at them and gives ’em a scare. Then they go back to work making skull lamps and the next one does the same thing. Pretty sure that’s what it means.

Yo, can I get some skull light over here? Trying to read a gripping novel over here. *Brings the light closer* I’ll be damned. I thought I was reading Shakespeare, but it was just the back of the cereal box. No wonder I didn’t understand it. I was reading Golden Grahams when I’m actually at a Trix reading comprehension level.
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Coffin Wine Stopper For Your Macabre Merlot

Coffin Wine Stopper
I know that all of that wine is gonna kill my liver, so my bottle might as well have a coffin top. This Coffin Wine Stopper will help your liver and your wine RIP. That’s rest in peace. Just in case anyone thought I was typing a fart sound my butt just made. That would be more like riiippppp with a tight squeak. And it just happened for reals. Man, I need some coffin underwear now, cuz that one killed my colon. Scratch that. I just need new underwear.

Realistic Brain Necklace

Realistic Brain Necklace
If I want to wear a Realistic Brain Necklace, does that make me a fashion zombie? I do crave it. Kinda want to bite it even. And lick it. Just put me out of my misery right now cuz I won’t be happy until I get this juicy brain accessory and wear it around my neck. Still gonna lick that thing though cuz I’m freaky like that. It looks so ooey and gooey.

Clear Half Fetus For Your Wall

Clear Half Fetus For Your Wall
This Clear Half Fetus needs a womb with a view. You decorate with this thing and it will look like you got angry and just chucked a womb-y slimey fetus against the wall like it was a basketball and now it’s just embedded there. Nothing but net- *Splat* Oh nevermind. I like how it has that “in the womb” look. Icky and sticky. Somebody slap that things ass and hose it off. It’s a great conversation piece. If you have the womb for it.

I feel like it should have an umbilical cord hanging down that doubles as a phone though.

Brain Candle Holder

Brain Candle Holder
Where are my keys? I would forget my brain if it wasn’t holding my candle. Good thing it is, thanks to this Brain Candle Holder that looks like a giant brain meatball that got impaled with a candle. Sorry I forgot to turn the light on, my brain was under it. Hang on a sec. Are we sure that isn’t just a lump of raw meat?

Whatevs. I’m buying one. Cuz I’m brainy like that. I just don’t leave mine on the table so any Tom, Dick or Harry can attach a light to it.