Top your wine with a raven. This Raven Skull Winestopper turns your alcohol juice into a bird. A drunk bird, with no skin or feathers on its head. Which is just the way that I like my alcohol. I’m not drunk! *Grabs bottle and bangs the raven beak against my desk like a judge.* We’ll re-adjourn in 15 after I wet my beak some more.
Tag: wine stopper
Coffin Wine Stopper For Your Macabre Merlot
I know that all of that wine is gonna kill my liver, so my bottle might as well have a coffin top. This Coffin Wine Stopper will help your liver and your wine RIP. That’s rest in peace. Just in case anyone thought I was typing a fart sound my butt just made. That would be more like riiippppp with a tight squeak. And it just happened for reals. Man, I need some coffin underwear now, cuz that one killed my colon. Scratch that. I just need new underwear.
Cast Bronze Finger Wine Stoppers
I’ll have two fingers of whiskey bartender! This is wine, we don’t measure it in fingers. We do now thanks to these Cast Bronze Finger Wine Stoppers. Hey! What’d ya give me the finger for? I wonder if I can get a five-finger discount on these. Ha! I crack myself up.
I bet you never fingered me for a comedian. Ewwwwww. The beginning of that sentence didn’t sound right. I’m hoping you wouldn’t do that for anyone, let alone a comedian. And why would he want that? Is it part of his act? Now I made it awkward didn’t I? I’m sorry. Love you guys. Do you love me back? Gah. Made it awkward again.
Fruit Bat Wine Accessories
Bats in your belfry? That’s cool. Me too. I also keep my wine in there, so these Fruit Bat wine accessories are perfect. Good butler! Fetch me some wine and a fruit bat to open it with! These bar accessories would be awesome in Bruce Waynes Batcave or even in a haunted house. They come in a coffin box. Just $75 from Etsy seller Dellamorteco.
I used to have a pet fruit bat, but he died from the lack of fruit in the house. Apparently, fruit roll ups and starbursts don’t count. You live, you learn. Well, I live, I learn. Him not so much.
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