Why do Octopi always wrap themselves around treasure boxes? It’s like they can’t resist them. I have no idea, but I know what I’m gonna do the next time I need to distract an octopus. I’m gonna dress a treasure chest up in a bikini and whistle, then throw my voice and say, “Hey big boy.” Then I can get the real treasure chest. Guess I showed you Octo-loser! You can raise all of your tentacles into fists all you want, but I’m rich! I’m rich! And you’re just a bit- Stop hugging my face with your tentacles! Where are you dragging me? I guess I didn’t really think this through. Shoulda just bought an Octopus Treasure Chest Trinket Box.
Tag: octopus
Kraken Tentacle Mug
Grab a tentacle and raise a toast- No, not that toast! You’re dripping butter all over the place! Raise your glass man! To the amazing Kraken Tentacle Mug! What? No. No, I’m not saying there’s a crack in the mug. I’m saying it’s a Kraken mug. Are you drunk already? I’m just saying the is cool, okay? Damn, I’m trying to write a blog post here.
That reminds me, why do they call them tentacles when they don’t have small tents on the end? If you trust the English language Octopi should occupy the center of a camping site and spread their tentacles out so campers have a place to sleep.
Psychedelic Blown Glass Octopus Pendant
Whoa! Far out man! This Psychedelic Blown Glass Octopus Pendant is hippy, trippy and drippy. Okay, I had trouble rhyming that last part, but it is dripping with awesome. That’s so tenta-cool! Blown glass? More like blown mind. *Makes explodey noise* I’m pretty sure this is the kind of pendant that gives you magical powers when you wear it. Maybe my hands will grow suckers and I’ll be able to shoot ink. Pew pew pew! Not gonna fight bad guys though. I think we all know why. Cuz I’m too big of an octo-puss! Maybe I can stop the great octo invasion.
Walking Octopuses Attack On The Shores Of Wales
*Holds up picket signs.* Octopus stay in the water! They walk, we run! Down with the cephalopods! *Drops picket signs and runs as the Octopi horde approaches.* Residents of beach community in Wales have witnessed dozens of octopi emerging from the ocean and walking along the shore. Witnesses yelled, “Stop doing that.” and “You aren’t people!”. One old man yelled, “It took you eight legs to do that? Ha! I got two and I been doing it my whole life!” He then proceeded to unload on the octopi “Terminator with a shotgun” style. Okay I made that last part up, but for reals, Octopuses are leaving the ocean and walking on shore like badasses.
At least twenty-five have been seen walking along the sands of New Quay beach over three consecutive nights. It looks like the beginning of an invasion people. Guard your beaches, protect your mermaids if you have ’em.
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Octopus Tentacles Coffee Mugs Set
Get your tentacles off of my coffee. I didn’t touch your coffee. What do you take me for, a sucker? Like the ones on your tentacles? You kraken kleptomaniac! Okay, okay, I tried to steal your coffee. What about a trade instead? Hmmm. You mean a…. Fair trade? Forget it man, I don’t drink coffee with someone who makes bad jokes like that. Bean there, done that! Your joke was worse! Time to slap each other senseless with our tentacles and settle this for good! Then we can get back to our Octopus Tentacles Coffee Mugs.