The mighty Kraken. He’s kraken large boats, kraken boots with the female sea monsters, dude is kraka-laken everything. Honor this mighty beast with this cool Kraken Men’s Tie. Go ahead and wear it. Don’t be an Octo-puss. You will have the coolest tie in your office. Unless some other dude wears one too, then it will be a tie. Get it? A tie? I know, I know. The comedy never ends. Check out this cool tie too.
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Tag: octopus
Large Kraken Octopus Plush
Unleash the Kraken. And set him over there on the couch. Dude looks cool. This Large Kraken Octopus Plush is large and in charge. *Puts nerd glasses on.* Technically it’s an Octo-Plush not an Octopus. Etsy seller WowWowGifty has several different styles of huge Kraken available and if you want something different tell them to get Kraken on it right away.
Just set this guy on a barstool or on your couch and wrap his arms around you whenever you feel cold. He’s basically a blanket. Or a scarf for eight people. Or an eight person strangling machine. It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Check this out: Spin him around on a barstool and you have a tentacled face-slapping machine. So versatile! So stingy and slimy when those suckers hit ya.
Octopus Cuff Bracelet Looks Tenta-Cool!
This Octopus Cuff Bracelet is buff and tough and on the cuff. He’s kinda tender, kinda rough. Sadly, I’ve reached my rhyming limit for the day. This guy is large and in charge and super shiny. It’s like the kind of jewelry that an Octopus Queen would wear while summoning a Kraken. I bet it deflects bullets like Wonder Woman’s cuffs too, but don’t take my word on that. Makes me want to start an octopus jewelry business called Octopus Inc. Get it? I know, I’m a riot. Mostly cuz your silence is beating at me like a hundred police right now.
Skull Hugger Octopus Necklace
A Facehugger will hug your face until you are dead, then when your face decomposes to nothing but a skull, this octopus will come along and hug it. Maybe even make sweet love to it. I ain’t judging. What you see above is the sweet afterglow of an afternoon delight. Hey, it has eight tentacles to love you with and it will love you long time. This Skull Hugger Octopus Necklace captures that beautiful, vulnerable moment.
Glass Octopus Pendants
Hey Octopus! Your ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower. Wait, is that how the saying goes. More like, your ass is glass and I’m the Glassblower. Haha. Burn! Wait, that really sounds wrong. Anyway, these Glass Octopus Pendants are awesome. What’s Kraken? Hopefully not these guys! They can’t take a hit, cuz I heard they have a glass jaw. I wonder where they’re from. Glass-gow? Enough dumb-(gl)ass Octopus jokes. These glass octopus pendants from EmergentGlassworks are going to look great on you. Especially if you are wearing an ocean themed shirt. You ladies are gonna rock-to-pus this octopus.
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