Giant Alien Footprints Trouble Indian Village

Giant Alien Footprints Trouble Indian VillageResidents of an Indian village are living in fear thanks to dozens of giant alien footprints. They were found on Sunday morning after villagers heard something breathing heavily and lurking in their backyards during the night. Usually that’s just me coming home from the bar, looking for a good hole to puke in, but nope, wasn’t me this time. During the day, they found between twenty and thirty massive footprints with a stride of up to three feet. Women and children are remaining indoors out of fear.

One villager noticed that some of those footprints are side by side with human footprints. Other times the human footprints are alone. Another villager looked to the sky and said:

“Why during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, was there only one set of footprints? I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

Then a UFO flew down from a parted cloud and using the intercom said, “When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

True story.
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72 inch Cocoon Corpse Decoration For Your Home

72 inch Cocoon Corpse Decoration For Your Home
This 72 inch Cocoon Corpse Decoration is pretty awesome. I like to hang mine just outside of the front door and then dress up like a giant spider so I can pretend I’m wrapping it up and then feasting on it. Om nom nom. Usually somebody comes at me with a flamethrower and I have to run. This corpse is collapsible for easy storage too. You can’t say that about other corpses. Hang him up anywhere and watch him sway in the breeze. Hang it up and tell the old lady next door that this is happening to everyone over thirty. Good times.
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Woman Sneezes During Selfie Revealing Dark-Side Doppelganger

Woman Sneezes During Selfie Revealing Dark-Side Doppelganger
*Screams like that midget from Twin Peaks and points.* DOPPELGANGER! Sometimes the truth comes out in photos, like when people capture UFOS, Bigfoot, or peen pics that prove how small it is. They can even reveal possession like in this photo, which shows a selfie that captured this woman’s good and evil personas. The bad one is the one on the right that looks like she is shouting at an unseen man during PMS. Just so we’re clear. The possession only came to light because the woman “sneezed”. It’s being played off like the sneeze is the reason for the odd photo, but we know better.

The one on the left is all like, “Awww. I’m so sweet and innocent” while the one on the right just wants you dead and is pissed to be caught on camera. That one is having a heavy flow and just wants any man dead. She’s clearly two-faced. Must be a Gemini.
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Scary and Sinister Skull with Lantern Lamp

Sinister Skull with Lantern Lamp
Let this Sinister Skull with Lantern Lamp light up your home. This guy just loves illuminating his own skull and he is pretty damn good at it. Probably cuz he’s using his wanking arm to hold that lantern. He makes a great piece of home decor. I mean bone decor. Uh, cuz he’s a skull, not cuz he has a strong self-boning arm. Perfect for parties or fright-fests.
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Unleash This Mighty Kraken Men’s Tie

Unleash This Kraken Men's Tie
The mighty Kraken. He’s kraken large boats, kraken boots with the female sea monsters, dude is kraka-laken everything. Honor this mighty beast with this cool Kraken Men’s Tie. Go ahead and wear it. Don’t be an Octo-puss. You will have the coolest tie in your office. Unless some other dude wears one too, then it will be a tie. Get it? A tie? I know, I know. The comedy never ends. Check out this cool tie too.
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